The Lunchbox - Chapter 1 - Anonymous - 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys (2024)

Chapter Text

“You said we'll be moving to Korea this year.” Seol said grumpily.

Her tone was sad. Upset. Not angry. Not like last year. As if she is slowly accepting the fact that they won't move to Korea. It was a dream when he first started to live in this country. Even with a newborn child he had hopes. He had plans. Move to South Korea with her. Build a happy home for her.

Jungkook gathers the hair into a bundle, tilting her head to see if the bundle in his hand is symmetrical with the ponytail on the other side. “You know the balance in our cute little piggy bank account.” He puts the comb in his hair and ties the child’s hair in hand with a hairband. “Is it tight?”

“Nuh…”

“...When we reach our goal we'll definitely move to Korea and you will get to go to school there.” Jungkook said. He turns her around, sets the hair on either side of her shoulder. Watches her in the pigtails with a grin. A horn blares from the outside bustling city.

“Don't return the lunchbox half eaten like when you were in the last school, okay?” Jungkook chided. She sulks, her eyes downcast, eyebrows knitted together.

Jungkook gets up, sighing, bends down to take the comb that fell off of his head. “I've told you a million times how important food is and how we struggled for food there.” He puts the comb on the tea table and turns to her.

“I'll try…” she whines.

Jungkook crouches down in front of her, “I'll send your favourite kimbap, okay?” He adjusts her neck tie. “There shouldn't be any leftovers in your lunchbox today. You hear me?” He smiles when she nods hesitantly. “Go and get your bag.”

Jungkook watches her run to the table near the living room corner and takes her bag. She goes to stand in front of their tarnished mirror, slightly cracked on the edges. “Who do I look like today? appa or eomma?” Seol asks while strapping the bag on her shoulder.

His smile softens, “Your appa…”

She turns to him with a grimace, “But Yoon tells me that I look more like Gukkie appa.”

He walks up to her, chuckling, “That's because your eomma and I were twins. We were pretty much identical.”

“Who do you think would've scolded me more?” Seol holds his hand while they walk out of their apartment.

“Ah… that would be your eomma. She wouldn't have liked a single one of your behaviours, especially not eating your food.” Jungkook says, turning towards her.

“Appa…”

Jungkook looks at her with a frown.

“I- I think I would have liked her scolding. Because I like your scolding,” she smiles lightly, “and she would have been with me like you.”

Jungkook looks at her worried, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown, “Seoo… baby, they're with us, remember what I told you?”

Seol sighs quietly, gives him a pleasant smile, “Yeah, they want me to be happy for them.”

“And…?”

“Seol and Gukkie have each other.”

Jungkook's throat bobs as he cradles her face in his palm, and bends down to give a kiss to her temple. "That's right, baby. We have each other." She chuckles when he pinches her cheek. "Now, go and get your Yoon." Jungkook whispers.

Seol smiles, runs across the hallway to the opposite apartment. Jungkook watches her running with a wry smile.

It should have been her. Jeon Jongseo. She should have been the one scolding her little girl to eat all the lunch in her tiffin box. It should have been Kim Taejon, who drops his daughter at school. It should have been them. Their happy family. Jeon Jungkook should have only been in the corner. An uncle visiting his niece once in a while. Spoiling her with all the gifts. Buying her favourite chocolate cookie. He shouldn't be the one reminding her how sweets would damage her teeth. How she should eat healthy food.

But life wasn't like that. Like he imagined. It never was what he expected it to be. Ten years went like the fastest metro train in Hong Kong. Ten years of his life went like a gust of wind. In the blink of an eye Tae Seol grew up into this princess. His lifeline.

Jungkook walks inside the apartment. He smiles watching Yoongi walking out of the bedroom with an excited Seol nagging him around about the new school.

“My shift ends at six. Do you want me to pick you guys from the hotel?” Yoongi asks, taking his briefcase from the couch.

“That would be great hyung.” Jungkook says gently.

“Perfect.” Yoongi turns to seol, “are you ready to go to the new school seoo?” He laughs seeing Seol nodding excitedly. They all walk out of the apartment and Yoongi locks the door.

“You go make her lunch Guk, I'll drop her off safely,” Yoongi smiles.

Jungkook nods. He watches them go to the elevator. Five or so high school students, bickering among them, get inside the elevator. Jungkook waves with a smile when he hears Seol's 'Bye appa!'

With an audible exhale he gets inside the apartment, which is older than even Jungkook. The stucco walls cracked with age, torned taupe couch and broken wooden tea table- the second hand items in the house were screaming of how he was incapable of anything above middle class.

This wasn't the life he promised a baby Seol. This wasn't a life even he dreamed of. He couldn't fulfil any of his promises to her. But, this new school was a first step. He needs to give some hope in her life. He needs to assure her that someday their efforts will pay off. That they need to keep trying. Keep pushing against a world that is constantly stomping over their life.

Ten years in this unreconstructed tenement building taught Jungkook only one thing. That life is unfair to everyone. To every single human being. Because each person he met had a story to complain about life. How cruel it was. How unapologetically, unabashedly, it thrashed everything. The dreams. The hopes. The lives.

Jungkook needs to try. Try to keep that dream alive in Seol. He needs to guard her hopes. The life he never gets to have, he will give it to her. That is the one and only promise he is trying to fulfil every day.

The beeping noise goes off from the rice cooker. Jungkook goes to the kitchen, makes their lunch in one and a half hours. He serves the dishes in both lunchboxes and puts Seol's in a lunch bag, and writes her name on the sticker. He closes the window that looked out on the fire escape and walks out of the kitchen hurriedly.

To him even this cramped apartment was a blessing. He can't think about what their life would have been if he hadn't met Yoongi. If Yoongi wasn't a nurse at that hospital or if he didn't have duty that day. They won't be alive now. Jungkook might have ended their lives. Yoongi was an angel who blessed Jungkook's life. To keep them alive.

Jungkook runs to the elevator after locking the apartment carefully. He checks the time. It'll be nine soon. He needs to hurry before his shift starts at the hotel. Six floors down, Jungkook strolls out of the lift and goes towards the security. He smiles when the old man looks at him. The tattered scruffy uniform has lost all of its colour. There’s only the faintest indication of navy blue clinging to it, to make sure it's still a uniform. Thirty years of being stagnant, stuck in the same cycle made the man's wrinkles more prominent than any other person in their late sixties.

“Good morning, uncle Choi.” Jungkook says hastily as he walks up to him. A nod and a curve of his lips is all Jungkook gets as a reply. He puts the lunch bag on the table. “Seol starts her new school today. There will be a van coming to collect the lunchbox around eleven. Can you give this to them?”

Another nod.

“Okay, bye!” Jungkook sprints out of the building premises to catch his usual train.

'Tae… please be happy.'

There are different types of loneliness.

Some are lonely and isolated. Some are not lonely but isolated. Some are lonely but not isolated. Taehyung is in the first category. A doctor he visited told him that. He gave him some prescriptions too.

Taehyung is not sure if he is lonely. He's fine on his own. It's just that he closed the doors to the outside world a long time ago. His job, it's kind of mind numbing, but keeps him busy during the day. There are thoughts to keep him company at night.

In a way, he likes to believe that Jimin was still his companion, giving him opinions about everything. Even when he visits brothels, he would suggest who Taehyung should sleep with. Taehyung doesn't remember most of the things about Jimin. What he remembers is that when he was alive Taehyung always complained about Jimin's constant chirping near his ear. Now all he does is wait for that day to come. To hear that voice again. To see that face again.

The buzzer goes off and the chitter-chatter of the students grows. Taehyung takes off his glasses while walking out of the classroom. He rounds the corridor and walks down the stairs, jostling when a group of students run past him on the staircase. He gets to the staff room after a few minutes of walking. His colleagues went to the breakroom to have lunch. Taehyung sighs going to his table. He sees the lunchbox on his table, frowns at the colour of the lunch bag. It's a new shade of green. He looks around the empty staff room confused.

“Mr. Kim?”

Taehyung looks over his shoulder. He turns around when he sees the Principal. The white linen shirt without any wrinkles and the striped necktie. He's been wearing these monotonous clothes since the day Taehyung met him. Since Taehyung started teaching here. An exact copy of himself. He glanced at the young man beside the Principal. Same white linen shirt and striped necktie, but new ones. Freshly bought. Like he's starting the cycle today.

“This is Mr. Hoseok. He'll be teaching the middle schoolers starting tomorrow.” Principal Leung says with enthusiasm.

Taehyung merely nods. He shakes hands with the new guy. The smell of cologne is salient, indicating the excitement and novelty of starting a new job.

“This is Kim Taehyung, our beloved English teacher,” Mr. Leung says with a grin, “He teaches high schoolers and he's also Korean. So you can ask him for help with any of your doubts.”

Hoseok nods, a pleasant smile on his lips, “I might nag you for a while but trust me sir, I will be a good disciple,” he says. That makes Mr. Leung chuckle. He looked at Taehyung's lunchbox, “Looks like you were going to eat. We'll leave you to it then Mr Kim.” Taehyung nods. He watches both of them walk out of the staff room. The loose screws in the ceiling fans make a constant rattling noise that echoes around the room.

Taehyung takes the lunchbox hesitantly and goes to the breakroom. Employees chat among their groups as they gorge on their lunch. The buzzing of the lunch crowd reminds him of the fish market. Laughter and shocked heaves fill the room.

Taehyung walks past several tables and goes to his usual spot in the corner near the window, away from everyone else.

He opened the lunch bag to see a new lunchbox. His frown grows. He opens the lunchbox. Some peeled tangerines, sliced apples and a few kimbap rolls on different racks on the top tub. He takes the container and places it on the table. Taehyung looks at the next box, leans in and inhales. The smell of bibimbap lodges into his head. The warm white rice, topped with namul and gochujang. Egg and sliced meat on the side rack.

Taehyung smiles looking at the lunchbox. Maybe the first time after years he felt happy looking at his food. The knowledge hit him with a jolt, that he was unaware of the fact that he hasn't eaten proper Korean food for a long time. Taehyung takes the chopstick and mixes the sauce and egg with the rice evenly. At the first bite he is serenaded. The taste of home. A home he abandoned at nineteen is now dancing on his taste buds. Taehyung takes each bite, rejuvenating the feeling. That comfort of tasting the food served by a beloved someone.

………..

As the office hours end, Taehyung exits the staff room, without a goodbye to anyone. Taehyung walks out of the school to a bustling city, walks past the court building and the public library, alongside the rest of the evening commute. All in the same direction - like items going down an assembly line.

He walks past the street artist, same as always, who is perched on the footpath, painting deftly. The artist has several paintings on sale, all identical to the scene in front of them, the traffic, hordes of people. Taehyung strides past him like the rest of the people.

…….

The rush of people at the door increases when the train approaches a station. Taehyung stands in the crowded compartment of the metro idly. Like a lunchbox in a van. At every station, people jostle to get in and out in mere seconds. Taehyung clasped his briefcase to his front as people sauntered by. The only time he felt his height was an advantage was when he was on the metro. But he could still hear people, either talking on the phone loudly or even just breathing.

The train came to a screeching halt at the platform. Taehyung walks out, and moves past everyone in a rush to get out of the subway. It's a hive of activity. Unsurprising though. But there's something so strange to him, that he comes and goes out of this subway almost every single day but hardly ever sees the same person twice.

Taehyung walks on the bustling streets, walks past an old church and goes past the wall that demarcates the church compound. He walks towards the restaurant. The restaurant that supplies his lunch every day. Not so fancy, a cheap establishment. But they sell fairly good korean food around here.

He goes to the counter on the side of the kitchen. The owner sits there, and as soon as he sees Taehyung approaching, he stiffens, as if working up his defences. A pyramid of identical metal lunch boxes stacked up behind him, in the same shade of green cover.

“What now sir?” The manager asks, looking at Taehyung warily bracing himself to hear the complaints. Like all the times they have sparred before.

“Did you get a new chef from Korea?” Taehyung asks curiously.

“What-” the manager frowns.

“Did you get any new employees from Korea?” He asks again. Fidgeting on his steps nervously.

The manager gives him a confused side eye. He clears throat, “ye-yeah.”

“The lunchbox- it was very good today.”

“Huh…”

“Today's lunchbox was good. Keep it up! Maintain the same standard…” Taehyung says. He walks out with a quick curt nod.

The owner looks at the retrieving figure in shock, reeling from the compliment. He turns to one of his waiters and scoffs, “I think he liked the seasoned seaweed, let's make that again tomorrow…!”

There is a Japanese word for death caused by overwork- Karoshi. Thirty to forty hours of overtime, sometimes more than that, just to exist. Wage-earning population of most of the countries are doing unpaid overtime and dying from exhaustion and stress every day. There was a time when Jungkook was doing the exact same thing. He worked day and night when Seol was a baby. To keep a roof above their head. Everything is a hazy memory to him. He was malnourished when they first got here and Seol was barely five pounds when she was born. To him, the days of survival were only bearable because of the curious baby eyes that looked up at him.

“What happened to that course I told you about?” Namjoon asks, coming to the grilling section.

Jungkook flips the meat with a tong, takes the cooked steak pieces one by one from the griddle and places them on the metal tray. “Ah,I don't think it's gonna happen any time soon,” he said and glanced at his watch. It's 6.15pm.

The kitchen is bustling with the sound of chopping and stirring and frying and above all the orders shouting across the room with every passing minute. Most chefs are accustomed to the exhaustion from being surrounded by heat all the time. Jungkook is gradually adapting to it. The smell of meat and vegetables cooking wafts across the whole kitchen.

“Jungkook, look at me.” Namjoon stresses the words.

It's been a month since Namjoon, the manager, is nagging Jungkook about getting a certificate. To make him a permanent chef. To give him some stability. Namjoon was a friend of Yoongi’s. And that's how he started working here. His fluency in English got him to work at the tourist section of the five star hotel as a waiter. The generosity of the tip from tourists made him take the room boy shift as well at night. It was only possible because Namjoon let him. He is more like a friend to him now - hence the concern. Jungkook turns around and leans backwards against the counter tiredly.

Namjoon lets out a pitiful sigh, “I don't know how long we can use the management's sympathy. If you get a diploma I can push them to make you stay. Otherwise you're gonna have to reel back to being a full time waiter again,” he says.

Jungkook takes the hand towel from the apron pocket and wipes his forehead. “I know, hyung. But I don't think I have the money to join the course now. I'm on a strict budget and you know how Seol's health deteriorates all the time.” He jitters on the words. Namjoon looks at him wearily. Tired of insisting on what's best for Jungkook. But kind of understanding his situation.

Jungkook let out a breathy exhale, “Maybe- next summer…, I'll have some extra cash since Seol won't have classes. We can think about it then.” He gives the tray to the waiter through the open window.

Namjoon goes to sit in the chair on the corner against the wall. “Irene has a soft spot for Seol and that's one of the main support you have at the board meeting.”

Jungkook nods, “I know hyung.” He takes the next batch of steaks to the tray, “It's sad that she lost her daughter at such a young age,” he looks into the distance, “sometimes even money is useless,” he says with a deep exhale. Even with so much noise around him, it goes silent for a moment.

Namjoon gets up to leave, “Speaking of Seol, where is she?”

His lips curve into a grin, “At the canteen. Sarah is helping her with the homework.” He looks at the back door when it's creaked open. He smiles seeing Tony coming in. “I'm going hyung, Tony is here,” Jungkook says.

Tony worked here more years compared to Jungkook. But he is a few years younger than him and shorter too. His features are sharper and the long fringe hairstyle makes him look younger than his age. So much life in his deep-set eyes. He looks a lot like an actual chef. The double-breasted jacket, pants in a black-and-white houndstooth pattern suits him more. Tony smiles, adjusts his hat while going towards them. “The only person who is happy seeing me going to work is you man!” He says, tying the apron around his hip.

Jungkook chuckles, “What can I say, you’re an angel lifting the weight off my shoulders!” He unties his apron and fist bumps with Tony as they exchange the shift.

“Bye hyung,” Jungkook says looking over his shoulder.

Namjoon waves his hand with a dimpled smile. Jungkook takes off the hat as he walks out of the backdoor. He changes into a striped t-shirt and baggy jeans in five minutes and walks out of the changing room. The noises from the kitchen fades away as he moves farther. He takes long strides towards the workers canteen. Jungkook grins seeing Yoongi at the table; leaning against the chair relaxed, an audio player in hand, eyes closed, listening probably to the 70s heavy metal.

Seol turns her head after hearing the footsteps. She beams with a radiant smile seeing Jungkook. Next to her, Sarah gives him a gentle grin. Sarah had started working there, three months ago. She was in her mid twenties, had pale skin and a lean body; too tired for her age. She works part time at a calling centre too. Jungkook is damn sure she has insomnia; her caffeine intake vouches for that.

Jungkook takes the seat beside them, and Seol comes to sit on his lap tiredly. Staffs chattering faded in and out of the canteen as they come and go. Seol leans on his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. The air around them carries the aroma of the espresso brewing.

Jungkook gives a kiss to Seol's temple, caressing her head, gently stroking it. “Did she eat the sandwich?” He asks Sarah. Jungkook smiles when she gives him a nod.

“My shift starts in a minute.” Sarah stands up to get going, “bye guys,” she waves her hand before going to the changing room.

Yoongi, who had been peacefully sleeping up until then, opened his eyes hearing their voices. He takes the paper cup in front of him and starts sipping his coffee; tipping his head towards Jungkook in a silent greeting, 'hey you.'

Jungkook gives him an acknowledging nod and turns to Seol. “How was the first day? You didn't tell me anything.”

Seol groans, sitting straight on his lap, “A-r-g-h! I hate it already, Appa! It's just the first day and I've tons of work to do!”

Jungkook chuckles at that, “That's how schools are! What did you think, you were just gonna play around all day?”

Seol gets off his lap, sulking, “I'm cross with you!” Jungkook suppresses a laugh seeing her pouting while collecting her books and stationeries from the table and packing her bag.

Jungkook glanced at Yoongi, “Shall we go?” He asks. Yoongi stands up wearily, without any words. “Let's go by the fruit stall, hyung.” Jungkook adds. Seol doesn't protest when he takes the bag from her. Only because she doesn't have the energy to fight now and kind of wants Jungkook to get her to the car. He puts the bag on one shoulder and carries her on his hip as they walk out of the canteen towards the parking lot.

In the late hours of the evening, across the neon-lit streets, it's not uncommon to see starch-suited businessmen slumped against park benches and footpaths, just like the working class. Jungkook watches the nightlife waking up as the car passes through the street. He looks down at Seol sagged against his chest. “Did you get a window seat in the school bus on your way back?” He asks faintly.

“Mhmm,” Seol looks up at him excitedly. “My new friend Hanari gave me the window seat and also we sit at the same table in class too!”

“Wow, that's awesome baby!” Jungkook says with a grin, he glances at Yoongi's sombre expression. “Ok that's it! What happened hyung?”

“Nothing,” Yoongi looks away, glancing out of the window, jittering. He sighs, “it's just Seokjin, he- he is avoiding me, Guk,” he takes a peek at Jungkook.

“Did you talk to him?” Jungkook asks. Yoongi shakes his head; he takes a turn at the corner of the road. Jungkook let out an exhale, “then how did you know?”

“I just know.” Yoongi fusses over the steering wheel, gnawing at his lips, “He didn't come for rounds at my unit. He sent someone else.”

Jungkook knits his eyebrows, “He might've had some other appointments. He's a surgeon, hyung, not some med student on training.”

Yoongi gives him a death glare, “You don't get it, it's been two weeks! I went to him the next day, you know; tried to have a chat. I don't know if he thinks it was a mistake or not, if he wants to- to be with me or not. He didn't bother to talk to me. Just went off with his doctor buddies.”

Jungkook wets his lips, “I don't- don't know what to say,” his eyes turning sympathetic.

Yoongi tsked, “It's okay, Guk. I'm just spiralling.” He gives a half smile, “Now that I said what's on my mind out loud, I feel light,” he gives a nod of assurance to Jungkook.

It takes forty minutes to get to their building. Jungkook walks out of the car with a tired Seol in his arms. They walk towards the elevator languidly.

“Hey, your lunchbox!”

Jungkook looks over his shoulder to the side, where the securit's cabin is. He gives Seol to Yoongi's hands and goes to the old man, who is sitting on a chair in front of the cabin and taking small drags from a cheap cigar.

“Thank you so much,” Jungkook takes the bag from the table. “Goodnight, uncle Choi” he turns around to get going.

“Goodnight kid.”

Jungkook snaps his head to look at the old man surprised. He grins with his bunny teeth on display when the security gives him a pleasant smile. “Goodnight…” he mumbles with a pleased head nod and goes to the elevator.

…….

Jungkook puts the leftovers in the refrigerator one by one. He could hear Yoongi and Seol fighting over the remote to switch the channels. He takes the apron and ties it on his hips. With a sigh he goes to the sink and starts washing the dishes.

Lastly he takes Seol's lunch bag. He frowns weighing it; because the lightweight of the lunchbox surprises him. Jungkook opened the box to look at the containers. And he was in awe to see the empty tubs. Jungkook's lips curve into a smile instantly, his eyes sparkle seeing the empty containers.

Jungkook dashed to the living room, “Seol, did you eat everything in the lunchbox?” He asks excitedly. Seol's eyes droop downwards and she glances at Yoongi and Jungkook back and forth. She shakes her head, “No… but I did eat all the seasoned seaweed and you didn't send any kimbap.” Seol looked at Jungkook, sulkingly. She ran to the bedroom to avoid further interrogation.

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows as he looks at Yoongi. “I don't know what seaweed she is talking about and I surely packed kimbap rolls for her.”

Yoongi stands up with a nod, “There must have been some mistake. Maybe her classmates might've gotten her lunchbox,” he walks towards the front door, “just put a note inside the container to give the lunchbox to her.”

Jungkook thinks, his eyebrows knitted together. He nods agreeing to Yoongi.

“Goodnight, Guk,” Yoongi says walking out of the door.

“Yeah, goodnight hyung.” Jungkook watches the door shutting after Yoongi. He walks back to the kitchen mindlessly and washes the containers one by one. A silly grin dancing on his lips without him noticing.

*****

…..Jungkook coughs breathlessly as he reaches the fence. He looks around gasping. The moonlight shines dimly and it doesn't help to see anything around him. But he could see the Tumen river afar; no indication as a river but just a frozen water body, the ice shining just like the moon.

It must be past midnight. The cricket chirping gets louder. He's shivering even with the jacket on. Jungkook takes the bag off his shoulder. He collected as much essentials as he could for the past two days. Jungkook turns around quickly when he hears a footstep. He crouches down behind the bushes without making a noise.

“Jungkook!”

The muffled squeal makes him stand up instantly. “Jongseo…?” He mumbles.

“Yeah.”

The flashlight makes him shut his eyes, he covers his face with one hand and looks away. “No! Turn off the torch!” He says, quickly and sprint towards her. Jungkook frowns seeing her alone, “Where's Taejon?” He asks worriedly.

Jongseo puts her hand on her hips, rubs her baby bump while breathing erratically. She walks towards the rocks and Jungkook helps her to sit down. He takes the bottle of water from her and opens it. His throat quivers seeing how lean his sister got. The hollow cheeks and visible collarbone screams the terror of starvation. They wanted to escape from here the moment they got to know about the pregnancy. But it still took nearly nine months to make the move. Jungkook watches her gulping down a chunk of water.

“He went to get a blanket,” she gasps, giving the bottle back to Jungkook, “and he told me if he doesn't come back in half an hour, I should go to you.”

“What! Where would he get a blanket at this hour!” Jungkook squeaks, narrowing his eyes, annoyed. This is the first and last chance they got to get out of here. A single mistake can cost their lives. He gulps down some water. It wooshes through his food pipe, mapping the whole path with the coolness. Jungkook hasn't had any actual meals for days. The taste of water is getting better day by day.

“I told him not to go, Guk!” She jitters, “but you know how stressed he was for days now. He keeps repeating that, we don't know how cold it's out there.”

Jungkook sighs, “but-”

The rattling noise of footsteps makes both of them cover their mouths. Jungkook stands in front of his sister swiftly, covering her from whomever it is; ready to take the first bullet.

“Jungk-”

His eyes widens hearing the low voice. Jungkook takes the torch from his sister and flashes it in the direction of the sound. His steps falter seeing his brother in law slumped against the police officer, who is helping them with the escape. Taejon's clothes are drenched in blood. Jungkook dashed to his side in a second. Taejon wraps his hand around Jungkook's shoulder and he lets the man lean on him.

“What happened!” Jongseo squeaks worriedly. She stands up with a little tussle. Jungkook gets Taejon to sit down on the rocks and flashes the light on his body. He gasps seeing the bullet wounds; two on the abdomen area and one on the left chest muscle. Jungkook looks at his own hands and jacket, which are bloodstained now. He turns to the bowibu- the secret police officer.

“Someone saw him getting out of a high class house and shot him. This punk was stealing a blanket!” The police officer glares at Taejon, “I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't seen him!” He gives a plastic bag to Jungkook.

Jongseo takes the bottle from Jungkook's hand and holds it for Taejon to drink. Jungkook looks inside the plastic bag. His eyes welled with tears seeing a neatly folded thick woollen blanket inside, in a darker shade of brown.

“We- we don't know how cold the other side of the world is.” Taejon mumbles with a cough and its blood coming out of his mouth.

“Oh… no, no, no, no!” Jongseo says, coming forward. She wipes the blood with her jacket cuff. “Guk, what do we do?” She looks at him helplessly.

Jungkook is numb. Clueless. He is not sure if Taejon can make it. He is not strong enough to see their dreams falling apart in front of him.

“Here take this,” the police officer holds out his woollen muffler. Jungkook lets out a sigh and takes the scarf from the man. He ties it around Taejon's stomach wound. Jungkook takes his own jacket off to get his t-shirt and ties it around the chest wound. Jongseo whimpers, seeing her husband grunting in pain.

“Come on, let's get going,” the police officer says.

Fastening the zip, Jungkook wears his jacket quickly. Jongseo flashes the torch every now and then in the direction where they are going. The officer and Jungkook help Taejon to walk. It takes them minutes to reach the river bank. Taejon collapses to the ground heaving. Jungkook dropped to the ground and held Taejon on his lap quickly. Jongseo's sobbing starts to get louder. She covers her mouth quickly. Jungkook gulps, breath through his mouth to not whimper.

“I'm n-not gonna make- make it, yo-you guys need to… need to go,” Taejon mumbles, grunts in pain in between.

“No… no, Joon, I'm not leaving without you!” Jogseo whines. She falls to his chest while crying. Taejon looks up at Jungkook with pleading eyes, “Take care of them, Guk.”

Tears flowed down Jungkook's cheeks hearing the words. He feels Tajon's bullets plunging into his own heart, crushing it into a lump. Jungkook feels the body on his lap quivering. He looks down in panic. Jongseo pulled away shocked and looked at her husband in terror. Taejon trembles incessantly; with a sudden audible breath he stops moving. Everything goes silent around them. The darkness surrounding them seeps into their minds. Jongseo put her fist in mouth to not scream. Slowly Jungkook closes Taejon's eyes. He looks at his sister pained.

“You guys should go,” the officer whispers.

Jungkook snaps to look at the man. His eyes turning bloodshot. There is no point in escape if there is no one to live for. They lost families. They saw their parents dying in front of them because of starvation. All this time they had only one dream and they dreamed it together.

The officer crouches down in front of them, “I know what you're thinking. But death is not the solution, boy. There is a baby yet to be born. You need to be strong. Give them a life you didn't get to have.”

The man takes the body from Jungkook's lap. “I'll bury him with all the respect,” He looks at Jungkook and Jongseo with a gasp, “there will be a white van waiting for you at the other end of the river. You will meet six more defectors at the van. As of my knowledge you're going to America with the help of a Christian missionary.”

Jungkook let out a heavy breath. He nods at the man and stands up. He wipes the tears, watching his sister give the last kiss to her husband. Jungkook helps her to get up. With a last glance at Taejon, they both walk away.

It takes them hours to cross the shortest distance of the river without being seened. The moment they step foot on the Chinese soil, both of them start sobbing. A dream they were holding onto for years just happened. They escaped from their homeland.

Just like the officer said, there were six more people in the van; four ladies and two men. Everyone is weary. Sobbing just like them.

It's dawn when the van starts moving. This moment onwards, they will be North Korean defectors; people who abandoned their homeland. Till death, they will be refugees in another country.

When the van crosses the Chinese border, the real premise of China, everyone cries remembering their beloved ones. Jungkook takes the blanket as it starts to get painfully cold. He drapes it around his sobbing sister. She screams her husband's name in his ears…

“Taejon….”

“I can't Guk! My Joon!”

“TAEJON!!”

*****

Jungkook heaves as he snaps his eyes open. He's covered in cold sweat, his heart pounding like an alarm going off. Jungkook looks around the room in panic. He can see nothing but darkness. Clumsily he searches for the light switch and turns it on quickly. He takes the bottle from the side and gulps down some water. With a sigh he looks at the framed photo on the bedside table. It's damaged on the sides but there are smiles on the figures in the photograph. It was the day of his sister's wedding. In the photograph Jungkook is trying to stand between the newlyweds, Taejon holding him in a headlock and Jungkook's hands wrapped around both of them. Pure happiness. The good days just before everything went worse.

Jungkook looks at the clock. It's 1:15 am. Slowly he gets up from the bed and goes to Seol's room. Her room is dimly lit with a light that shines on low brightness all night, because Seol doesn't like darkness.

She's sleeping on her front. Light snores indicating that she is deep in her slumber. Jungkook pulls the mosquito net up. He bends down and takes the abandoned comforter on the foot of the bed and covers it around her body. He smiles seeing how she got the little quirks of her mother. Jongseo always stomped the covers off of her body while sleeping when they were little. Jungkook gives a kiss to Seol's temple and gets out of the room without making a noise.

His sleep is long gone and he is wide awake as he gets out of the apartment and goes to the elevator. When the lift opens on the eighth floor with a ding, he gets out hesitantly. Jungkook takes a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. He hears footsteps near the door.

“Jungkook, hey!” Mingyu says, trying to sound excited but failing nevertheless. He leans against the ajar door, pressing his temple to the plywood.

Mingyu was a year younger than him. Jungkook is not sure about his job, but it had a lot to do with computers. He came to Hong Kong a year ago and they met at the elevator occasionally. Mingyu had told him a lot about South Korea and they bonded over that same fact.

Jungkook knows that Seol knows something is up with them. She is a lot smarter for a ten year old. He had never said out loud that he likes men before, and he did say it in front of her; for the first time. It's a good memory. How Seol just accepted it with 'Appa likes to love men? Okay!' A chuckle was not what he expected to happen at that moment. But they shared a chuckle.

Jungkook looks at Mingyu's attire, the leather jacket and tight jeans kicks senses in his brain. He shouldn't have…. At this hour….

“Oh, you're going somewhere?” Jungkook asks anxiously. The sound of the door shutting somewhere makes him startled.

Mingyu chuckles, “Nah, just got home from an after-party. Come on in.” He opens the door fully, inviting Jungkook to get inside.

Jungkook shakes his head, “No Gyu, it's okay. you look tired. I don't think it's a good time.”

Mingyu huffs, “Just come on in man!”

With that he walks back to the living room. Jungkook looks at the retrieving figure, shoulders sagging, he gets inside the apartment and closes the door behind himself.
The amber lighting in the living room makes the night more gloomy. Jungkook clears his throat, “So, what party?” He asks while going to sit on the couch.

Mingyu comes out of the kitchen with two cans of beer and holds one out for Jungkook. “One of my colleagues' wedding,” he says, dropping next to Jungkook. The luscious co*cktail scent hits Jungkook. Mingyu sits sideways, glances at Jungkook whilst taking a sip from his beer.

Jungkook nods, he holds the beer in one hand and pry the tab open with the other hand. He looks away as he takes a sip and asks, “You sure? We- we don't have to do it tonight. You look tired,” he glances at Mingyu from the corner of his eyes.

Mingyu sighs, leaning sideways against the headrest, places a hand on Jungkook's thigh gently, “What happened, Jungkook?”

Jungkook wets his lips, he takes another sip and turns to face Mingyu, “Usual,” he says, the words are so trained on his tongue, “just dreams.”

Mingyu takes Jungkook's hand, his thump caressing Jungkook's knuckles, “And that's why I'm here,” he gives a gentle smile, “to make you forget about your nightmares.”

Jungkook shut his eyes at that. He looks at Mingyu with a churning distress, “Ah, sh*t, I really am using you,” he groans, “I'm an asshole!”

Mingyu clicks his tongue, “Nah, it goes both ways,” he leans closer to Jungkook, “No hard feelings, Jungkook,” whispers closer to his ear, “no hard feelings.”

Taehyung yelps as he trips over the football. He grips the pillar in the hallway hastily. The books in his hold drop to the floor. He snaps his eyes to look at the courtyard in front of the staff room. The boys gasps, scared, knowing what's coming.

“Sorry sir!” One of the boys apologises, running towards him. He takes the books from the floor and holds it out to Taehyung, frightened. His friends ran towards them hesitantly and stood behind the boy to back him up. “We're so sorry Mr.Kim.”

Taehyung snatches the books from the boy's hand and picks the football from the ground. He walks inside the staff room, not bothering to reply.

“Sir, please sir, can we have the ball. We won't repeat this again sir.” The boys apologise nonstop behind him.

Taehyung looks around the staff room. Everyone is starting to go and have lunch. He glances at the lunchbox while placing his books on the table. He turns around and says, "You've an assigned playground for all the sports, and you're still playing in front of the staff room?" Taehyung huffs, "I'll give your football only if the principal asks me to." The boys start whining but when he gives them a glare, they all leave without any complaints.

With that Taehyung goes to the breakroom with his lunch. The chitter-chatter is loud around him. His mind is all over the place. Taehyung opens the lunchbox, steam rises from the rice cake. He's instantly hit by the aroma, dare say seduced by it. Slowly he takes a bite of the Tteokbokki, and soon enough it's finished.

He might have not paid attention to the container, because at the next glance he sees a folded piece of paper on the side rack. Taehyung looks around, he feels conscious about himself, not sure if someone is playing a prank on him. He looks over his shoulder when he hears laughter somewhere.

Taehyung unfolds the paper, curiously— it's a letter-

𝐻𝑒𝑦,
𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒. 𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑇𝑎𝑒𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑙'𝑠 𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑠, 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑟.

𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑙'𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟,
𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘

Taehyung glanced around. It's just the busy chattering surrounding him. He reads the letter again. Looks at the back of the paper, then turns it to read it again. He takes the green lunch bag and looks at the sticker. There is a name on it in smudged ink, only the first few letters visible— Tae.

His shoulders sagged. Taehyung gnaws at his bottom lip and adjusts his glasses. He inspects the letter and bag once again. Same handwriting on both. Taehyung slumped into the seat with a sigh…

Jungkook pours warm milk mixed with honey and cinnamon into the mug; Seol's favourite powerpuff girls coffee mug. He takes a spoonful and slurps it to check if it's too hot or sweet enough.

The real slim shady is playing on the TV. Yoongi singing along effortlessly, and Seol trying to imitate him with loud gibberish. Jungkook grins smugly as he walks into the living room. Seol's accessories make up for her poor rapping skills; black sunglasses and dollar chain. A black baseball cap worn on her head backwards. Yoongi misses some lines while bursting into laughter watching Seol rap.

Jungkook holds out the mug towards her. She shakes her head, and runs around Yoongi refusing the drink. Jungkook knows she won't stop this blabbering until she learns all the lyrics. Until beating Yoongi. She has that eagerness to win in everything. Just like her parents- a tiny bit like Jungkook himself.

He places the mug on the tea table and runs towards her. Jungkook catches her in a second and she giggles in his hold. That giggling- resemblance of Jongseo in Seol is uncanny. He crashes to the couch and seats her on his lap. “Now, drink this,” Jungkook takes the mug and holds it towards her mouth. Seol winces while drinking the milk. He sighs at her hate for anything that is healthy.

Seol looked at him with eyebrows lifting proudly after drinking all of it. Jungkook wipes her milk moustache with a pouty grin, “Go and complete your rapping, you tiny slim shady!” He looks at Yoongi and they share a chuckle. Seol jumps out of his lap and goes to the TV with the remote to start the song all over again.

It's loud in the living room when Jungkook goes to the kitchen.

While washing the mug he glances at the side and frowns seeing the lunch bag. He rolls his eyes, curses himself for forgetting to wash the lunchbox. Shoulders sagging, he leans sideways and takes the lunch bag.

Jungkook opens it with a huff, and the containers are empty. Again. In the bottom he finds— a piece of paper. Not his. But a reply. Jungkook looks at the paper, frowning incredulously. He turns it around, examining both sides to make sure.

With a gulp, he skims over the letter— I'm a teacher…… Kim Taehyung…...

The containers slipped out of his hold from the counter and fell on the floor with a loud thud. The music from the living room stops at the same time. Jungkook pockets the letter quickly. It was an instinct. His mind whispered to hide it.

“Everything okay back there, Guk?” Yoongi asks, peeking into the kitchen.

Jungkook turns around swiftly, “Yea- Yeah! Just my hand slipped- it's fine,” he let out a heavy breath and crouched down to take the tubs.

“Seol went to bed and I'm leaving too…” Yoongi says, yawning. “Good night, Guk.”

Jungkook stands up with the containers, “Good night, hyung.” He puts them on the sink and turns to the living room. “Close the door after you, hyung,” he yells at Yoongi's back. Jungkook sighs watching the door shut with a bang. Slowly he walks out of the kitchen and goes to Seol's room.

His heart felt at ease watching Seol lying on the bed. Lips curling into a grin, seeing her looking at him with wide eyes, the chain still around her neck. “It's gonna be a hassle to sleep with that on, don't you think?” Jungkook asks, taking the chain off.

“-unnight, Appa!” Seol yawns, turning sideways. Jungkook pulls the comforter upto her shoulder, “Good night, baby,” he leans down and pecks her temple.

Jungkook turns off the main light in the room. He puts the mosquito net down and gets out of the room. His mind is a mess when he goes to the kitchen. He washes the containers and wipes his hands on a towel hastily.

Jungkook turns off the light in the kitchen. With a sigh, he goes to the window near the firescape and hop on the counter. He leans sideways against the window. The lights from outside cascade into the kitchen as he takes the paper out of his pocket and unfolds it—

𝐻𝑖 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘,

𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑜 (𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛). 𝐼'𝑚 𝑎 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑜 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛- 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 ℎ𝑢𝑔𝑒 𝐶𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑢𝑠. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡𝑎𝑒. 𝐼'𝑚 𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝑇𝑎𝑒ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔. 𝐼 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝐸𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑠.

𝑇𝑎𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑜𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑇𝑎𝑒ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑟 ;) 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑑𝑑𝑠, 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡? 𝐴𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑘𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑓𝑓𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑢𝑝. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ 𝑏𝑎𝑔.

𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒, 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝐼 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔! 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑧𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡! 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑘𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑛— 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠. 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡.

𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝑇𝑎𝑒ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔

Jungkook reads it again. And again. His eyes wander on the paper, just like his mind. Each letter looks beautiful. Elegant. The penmanship shows how sophisticated the person who wrote the letter is. 'Hi Jungkook'— he read it an umpteenth time. His name looks graceful in that handwriting. The cursives are so artistic.

The main reason for the letter hit him with a jolt. The moonlight shines on the letter. He sits straight and reads the letter once again. Seol is eating some hotel food for two days! That explains the seasoned seaweed. She always did like hotel food more than homemade food. And here is someone who missed authentic korean food for twenty or so years, praising him, even though he's not exactly South Korean. Jungkook does remember his parents saying, their ancestors are somewhere from busan.

But then again, he thinks, why's this person eating hotel food? Why hasn't he gone to his home country for more than twenty years? Is he alone?

Curiosity always did get the best of him…

𝐻𝑖,

𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑎𝑙𝑙, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥. 𝐼𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦. 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑒 𝐼 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒, 𝐼'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑡ℎ 𝑘𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑎. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑔𝑒𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑁𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑘𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑎. 𝑆𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑛𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑. 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝐼𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑙 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥. 𝑆𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝑂𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼'𝑚 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑙 𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑. 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦.

𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑓 𝐼'𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑎𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑔𝑙𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝐼'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑? 𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑘𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑑𝑎𝑦! 𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝑜𝑛𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠? 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛, 𝐼 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢- 𝑛𝑎ℎ 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐻𝑒ℎ𝑒. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑦.

𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑, 𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑢𝑛𝑎 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑝. 𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒. 𝐴ℎ! 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒.

𝑃𝑆: 𝐴𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥, 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑠𝑎𝑝!

(𝑆𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑠, 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡.)

𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘

The reason why Taehyung sent a letter was to not let this happen again. But this guy didn't bother to change the sticker on the lunchbox. Above all he's willing to send him one. Taehyung had read the letter more than once. There's a parental concern, not just for his daughter but for Taehyung also. When was the last time someone had concerns about what he was eating? Why's this man being so kind to a total stranger? It's rejuvenating. To be cared for. Maybe juvenile but Taehyung feels curious about this person. Jungkook. The name rolls out of his tongue again and again.

“Hi, sir…”

Taehyung stops searching through the books. It's eerie inside the library. Only a few students scattered on some desks. He heard the whisper clearly. Taehyung looks over his shoulder, “hi-” he frowns.

“Hoseok, Mr Kim,” the man chuckles, “you forgot me already?” he says coming forward. Taehyung gives a feeble smile. He puts the book back on the rack and slowly moves to another row.

“I went to your desk, sir. didn't find you there…”

Taehyung keeps looking through the books.

“I saw you in the breakroom, in the corner table…I wanted to come over and sit with you, but you were reading something, so I didn't want to disturb…”

No response.

Hoseok presses on- “What a wonderful aroma from your tiffin box sir...waah! I could taste the food with just a whiff of it…”

Taehyung offers no opening.

Hoseok valiantly tries again, “Wonderful aroma sir, you are a lucky man, your wife must be a very good cook.”

“My boyfriend died.”

The response was curt and gentle at the same time. Hoseok would've missed it, if they weren't in the library. Taehyung goes to the front desk with a book, leaving Hoseok hanging behind, and tongue tied.

Hoseok knits his eyebrows and his eyes bulge, realising what Taehyung just told him. He sighs in defeat, he could kick himself.

……

Taehyung nurses the glass of wine in his hand. The city lights chime when he looks in the distance. Soft jazz tunes seeping into the balcony from the living room leisurely. Just like the midnight blue lighting. He flicks through the old photo album, a cigarette loosely hanging on the right side of his lips. His eyes gets stuck on a photo. He turns the page to look at it. It's a polaroid, they're in bed, in pyjamas. The light is dim and they're smiling ear to ear. Taehyung is taking the photo, the camera lens turned towards them, Jimin's face pressed to his side.

He flips the page. It's all young Jimin. Each one of them is taken by Taehyung. He's so young, the baby fat hasn't left his face in some of the photos. The next one is a slightly bigger frame. It's from their high school days, precisely one month before they eloped from South Korea. In the photograph, both of them are in school uniforms, Taehyung clinging onto Jimin from behind like a koala, making a kissing face. Jimin is smiling, squinting so tightly that his eyes disappeared in the smile. So bright.

Next one is the first picture they took together after they came to this country. It's a photo of them at the beach. Their plan was to go to the states initially; but the money they saved could only get them to Hong Kong. But it was never a problem. They were so happy. Jimin joined the dance school and Taehyung joined the teachers training centre just like they hoped for. Part time jobs and learning- never stopped them from loving each other ardently. They were so in love.

But it didn't matter. Everything happened in a flash of a moment. He's not sure who in heaven felt jealous of him. Taehyung's happiness only lasted seven years. He still remembers that day. The day a stomach ache became the bane of his life. The day his life began to go down hill...

*****

….Taehyung got out of the taxi anxiously. The bustling around him is so loud. An ambulance gets to the front of the hospital with the siren going off. Staffs running towards it hurriedly. Their shouts echoed around him. The navy blue scrubs are everywhere. Taehyung sprints to the reception hastily. The receptionist is watching some movie on the wall mounted TV, not bothered by anything happening around her. As if she is used to it.

“Excuse me…”

The woman's gaze swivelled over to him with an annoyance. Her eyes look weary. The dark circles tell him that she probably hasn't had a break in more than twenty four hours.

“Park Jimin…” Taehyung asks out of breath.

She looks through the register, “Second floor, room no 13-”

Taehyung dashed to the elevator and in a minute, he was on the second floor. The crying of babies echo from somewhere. He walks through the hallway, looking at the room numbers, swallowing every dreadful thought coming to his mind. The smell of benzoin and antiseptic doesn't help his overthinking brain. He hates the smell of hospitals, it makes him nervous. His eyes wander to the stretchers and IV bag stands randomly placed on the sides of the hallway.

Taehyung finds room no 13 and gets inside quickly. There are only four beds in the room, each one is occupied. One is turned into a cubicle with a privacy green curtain. Taehyung glances at the other beds and he relaxes seeing Jimin in one of them. He sprints towards the bed swiftly.

Jimin looks unconscious. Some fluid is dripping steadily from the IV bag above his head. Taehyung places his briefcase on the floor and sits on the bedside. He lets a breath slip away, and takes Jimin's hand in his, caresses his knuckles gently. Jimin opens his eyes, feeling the touch.

“Hey…” Taehyung mumbles, trying to curve his lips into a smile.

Jimin sighs, “They called you?”

Taehyung sniffles, “Yeah, I was in class- I left the moment the principal told me…” he cages Jimin's hand inside his hands.

Jimin chuckles, “So, I had to get hospitalised, for sir to take an afternoon off?”

Taehyung wants to play along with his sarcasm, but he can't. He really can't. Because he can see how pale Jimin looks. “What- what happened baby…”

Jimin sighs, looks away, “Usual, stomach ache…”

Taehyung drags the metal stool towards the bed, and sits on it. Jimin turns to look at him. Even his eyes look pale. This is not the Jimin who dragged him out of bed this morning, gave him kisses to have energy for the entire day.

Taehyung leans forward, pressing their foreheads together, “I- I'm scared Chim, this doesn't look like your usual stomach ache. I mean, why didn't they give you medicine and let you go? Why-”

“Tae, you're spiralling, baby,” Jimin says with a strained cough. Taehyung knits his eyebrows in pain. He strokes Jimin's chest to ease him. “They ju-just wanted to run some tests,” Jimin says in a gravelly voice. The coughing starts to increase.

Taehyung stands up quickly. He takes the bottle of water from the bedside table and holds it for Jimin to drink. Taehyung helps jimin to lean forward as he looks around, “let me get som-”

The duty doctor and a nurse get into the room as he turns around. They walk straight to their bed after seeing Taehyung.

“You're his bystander?” The doctor asks.

Taehyung nods, “Yeah,” he helps Jimin to lay down. His mind goes blank. It's the same feeling he got when he first kissed Jimin. He can't understand the difference between being scared and being awed. Jimin sighs, he holds Taehyung's hand.

“Okay,” The doctor turns to the nurse and mumbles something to her. She gives him the clipboard and the doctor's eyes skim through the case sheet. Taehyung watches them back and forth anxiously. He presses on Jimin's hand in his hold, nervously.

The doctor writes some prescription on a slip and gives it to the nurse, “give him 5ml,” he says and turns to Taehyung, “Come with me.”

…..

Taehyung walks out of the doctor's cabin, numbly. Everything looks white. He feels dizzy. Feels like the world around him is spinning. His insides churns, nausea swirls on the pit of his stomach. He leans against a wall, wanting to feel some kind of anchor. Sweat beads slide through his temple. Taehyung runs to find a washroom as the doctor's words follow him like a nightmare…

“Jimin was my patient for the past three months now, he came here weekly. We had done some tests and he's under medication…”

“...He has stage four GIST. It's a tumour. He has intestinal cancer, Taehyung. But now we're doubting if it has spread to other organs too…”

“...We need to start chemo immediately. He opposed it all this time. I had to contact his dance company to get any contact info on him…”

“How long- how long until… doctor?”

“Two months”

Jungkook closes the door behind him as they finally get home. Yoongi had a night shift today. So they had to ride the metro tonight. Evening rides in the metro are always tiring. It drains them out. Besides, they went on a little shopping too. So, now they are later than usual.

Jungkook turns the lights on and puts the grocery bags on the dining table promptly. “Slow down, Seoo,” he calls out. Seol runs to her room and throws her bag on the bed and crashes next to it.

“Check whether there’s hot water if you're taking a bath!” Jungkook yells in the direction of her room. He pours a glass of water for himself, watches Seol drags herself out of bed and goes to the bathroom. Jungkook hears the water running.

“It's hot water!”

Jungkook gulps down the glass of water in one go, and says, “Don't take too long! dinner will be in an hour!”

“I'm not hungry!”

Jungkook walked towards her bedroom door instantly, “You're not sleeping without eating dinner! I don't wanna hear any objections!” he shouts looking at the washroom door.

“I'm cross with you!”

“I'm making samgyeopsal!” he yells.

“I love you!”

Jungkook chuckles. He walks back to the dining table, drags a chair out and sits down. He purses his lips while looking at the green lunchbox. There should be a letter-

Jungkook groans, sagging into the chair. He looks away. With a sigh he takes the new lunchbox set from the shopping bag. Examines the purple shaded lunch bag that comes with it. Jungkook drops the bag on the table. “What the hell am I doing!” He mumbles to himself, rubs his forehead tiredly.

Jungkook glances at the lunchbox from the corner of his eyes. He takes it quickly and opens the containers hastily. Without a doubt there was a letter. He unfolds it-

𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘,

𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝑁𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦, 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑟. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑡𝑜𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟. 𝐼𝑡 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦- 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑤𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑐ℎ. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑠. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦. 𝐼 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐼𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒'𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒'𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑠- 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑠𝑘. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. 𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛, 𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢? 𝐼𝑚𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑠𝑖𝑣𝑒?

𝐼, 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑎𝑚 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑑. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒, 𝐼'𝑚 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡-

𝑆𝑜… 𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔- 𝐼'𝑚 𝑔𝑎𝑦. 𝐼 𝑟𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑡 𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑔𝑜. 𝐿𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒. 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑡𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒. 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑑𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑓 𝐼 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡…

𝑝𝑠: 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑡 (𝐼 𝑡𝑜𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎.)

(𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝐼'𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑢𝑠, 𝐼'𝑚 43. 𝑆𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔. 𝑂𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎)

𝐼𝑛 𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒─ 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛. 𝐼 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑖𝑐. 𝑇𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘.

𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝑇𝑎𝑒ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔

…..

The morning sun rays peek through the creaks of the window. News on the radio ends and a song starts to play. Jungkook hums the tune while serving the hot rice into the containers.

It took him hours to fall asleep last night. Constantly twisting and turning while the words on the letter followed him to the dreams. Because this is the first time─ there was always sympathy or pity when he told anybody about himself. Subconsciously, part of the reason why he said about his past in the letter was to see if this person wants to stick around or not. But– oh boy! No one ever told him he was inspiring. Let alone a hero. This is the first time. It's novel─ the feeling. To be appreciated.

Maybe Taehyung was right. The fact that they're not seeing each other is really giving them a sense of security and freedom to speak their mind. His relationship with food might've made him suggest something impulsive like this. Anyone would've called him stupid. But it was like he could see the sweetness underlying in those words.

Dear Jungkook….. Take care Jungkook…..

‘Kim Taehyung’

‘Taehyung’

‘Tae’

Jungkook repeats the name over and over in his head. Then he thinks about Taehyung. How this guy loved someone so much and it was enough for them to elope from their country. In a way it is heroic. Plausible. Jungkook can understand at a level how love can make you do the impossible.

He thinks about two nineteen year old boys going against the world. Choosing each other and their love over everything. Eloping to another country to be with each other. Happy with each other.

Yet life punished them. It is so cruel to show this guy how happy he can be and then one day snatch that happiness from him and tell him to live. He can imagine how terrified Taehyung was.

Jungkook knows he won't be able to understand the love Taehyung had.

He removes the sticker from Seol's lunchbox and puts a new one on it. He writes her full name, and puts a scotch tape over it. So the name doesn't get smudged. He takes the violet lunch bag next and puts a sticker on it.

Kim Taehyung

Jungkook writes. He covers it with the transparent tape. To not let the letters get blurred or faded. To not let this lunchbox go to anyone else.

It is true. He might never understand what Taehyung had. It's not that he's complaining. He doesn't want a life like that.

To love. To be loved.

Jungkook never dared to think about a life for himself. He has Seol. He loves her. To an extent, there is no space for anyone else. And she loves him too.

And that is enough for Jungkook.

In this lifetime, that is all he needs.

It takes him another half an hour to finally get out of his apartment. Jungkook grins lightly when he sees the old man as he gets out of the lift. He puts the two lunchboxes on the table. A horn blares from the street. Jungkook glances at the security with a gulp. The old man frowns looking back and forth at Jungkook and the lunchboxes.

“One is for a friend of mine… he- he teaches there…”

Jungkook sighs, relaxing, as the old man nods. “Bye, uncle Choi!” He runs out of there before further questions are thrown his way.

Taehyung walks through the corridors, slightly faster than usual. He hasn't felt this restless for years. Just a curiosity. That's all. To know if he would find that lunchbox on his table or not. Taehyung halts on his steps as he gets inside the staff room. He steps aside as some teachers walk past him. Their chattering fades away. Taehyung takes a deep breath as he reaches his desk. He puts his books down on the table. Touches the purple coloured lunch bag. It looks newly bought.

Taehyung looks around. It feels like being watched. He takes the bag and walks out of the staff room before making everything look obvious.

The break room is crowded like usual. Taehyung sits on his usual spot, smells the polyester fabric on the lunch bag. His eyes travel to the sticker. A smile blooms on his face seeing his name on it, carefully scotch taped to protect it from any damage. Like this lunchbox should only reach him. He unzips the bag and takes the lunchbox. Opens the containers to the smell of hot dumplings. Suddenly he's eighteen, fighting in the dance practice room with Jimin. He chuckles at the memory of their first encounter.

Taehyung takes the letter from the side rack and unfolds it─

𝐻𝑖 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔,

[𝐼'𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 :) ]

𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥? 𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒. 𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑙𝑙 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝐼 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒.

𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ‘𝐼'𝑚 𝑔𝑎𝑦’, 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡. 𝐶𝑢𝑧 𝐼, 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑎𝑚 𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑? 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑚, 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡?

𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑦𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ. 𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔. 𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒... 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐾𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒? 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚.

(𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐵𝑦 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑, 𝑠ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑛𝑖𝑒𝑐𝑒.)

𝑃𝑆: 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑢𝑛𝑎 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑝. 𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑝?

𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘

……

Taehyung was baffled. It's been a long time since so many emotions thrown his way at once.

A child like wonder and assurance at first, then a sort of chiding and scolding. Then it drastically changes to sympathising with him and some appreciation. Then reassuring him to speak his mind. Then upset to get no comment on the gimbap. Each sentence Jungkook wrote was overflowing with different emotions. So Taehyung was indeed perturbed. A bit flustered, even.

The hubbub of the street lowers when Taehyung gets to the restaurant. It's the lazy hours at the restaurant. So it's relatively secluded. He walks straight to the counter instantly. The owner looks at him, knitting his eyebrows in a frown, annoyed to see him for the second time this month.

“Hi, sir. What is it?” the owner asks, nonchalantly.

“I want to cancel your service,” Taehyung states. He grips his briefcase tightly.

“What!”

Taehyung wets his lips, “I don't want you to deliver the lunchbox to me from tomorrow onwards,” he says.

“Wh- did something happen sir? We can discuss about the quality…” the owner starts blabbering upon knowing he's losing a subscriber.

“No-”

The owner stands up, and Taehyung takes a step back. “Don't make any rash decisions sir,” he says gently, trying to coddle Taehyung.

“It's not healthy to eat hotel food everyday,” said Taehyung.

“What!?”

Taehyung's lips curve into a smile, “It's not healthy to eat hotel food everyday.” He repeats and adjusts his glasses while the owner watches him dumbfounded. Taehyung walks out of the restaurant with a pouty smirk.

Seol runs to her room as they get home. Jungkook is contemplating so much so that, his mind is nowhere near his body. It's wandering inside the lunchbox in his hand. He goes to the kitchen hurriedly whilst weighing both lunchboxes in hand curiously. But his face falls and shoulders sag at the weight of Seol's lunchbox. He opens it to see half of the fruits and more than half portion of the rice untouched. Looks like she only ate the dumplings and the side dishes. Jungkook sighs, he really wanna know what's her feud with food!

Jungkook puts the lunchbox on the counter and takes the purple lunch bag. He opens the lunchbox to see empty containers. And a coy smile dances on his lips seeing the sheet of paper inside the bottom container. He opens it—

𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘,

𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒! 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠– 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢!

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑! 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦- ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝐽𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑛, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒. 𝑂𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡; 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑦 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠! 𝑊𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑝𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑜 ℎ𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑟𝑦 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑛𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑎𝑡. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑓 𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑟. 𝐿𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡– 𝑤𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚.

𝑁𝑜𝑤, 𝑚𝑦 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑣𝑒;) 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑙'𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠? 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒? 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘. (𝐴𝑙𝑠𝑜, 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑥𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦. 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒— 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛— 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘! 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑎𝑦—!!!)

𝑃𝑆: 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑎ℎ, 𝐼 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑢𝑛𝑎 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑝. 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒. 𝑂𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥! 𝑇𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛– 𝐼 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑧𝑧𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎 𝑠𝑝𝑎𝑚 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑝. 𝑇𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘 ;)

𝑇𝑎𝑒ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔

Jungkook chuckles, reading the scratched out lines again and again. He could touch the panic in Taehyung's words seeping out of the letter. He glances at the refrigerator; there should be some cheese. He frowns– there won't be any meat.

Jungkook hears the front door clicks open and then Yoongi's shout— “Seoo, I made makguksu! Guk! Come on!”

Jungkook pockets the letter and walks out of the kitchen. He watches Yoongi going to the dining table briskly with a casserole. The smell of sesame seeds and sesame oil drifts from the pan with the steam rising.

“Yoon!” Seol runs out of her room; freshly showered and wearing her pikachu pyjamas. She goes to Yoongi and smells the noodles with a giddy excitement.

“Go and get the bowls, Guk.” says Yoongi.

Jungkook nods. He walks back to the kitchen and takes three bowls and chopsticks from the shelf. He could hear their chattering.

“You know what happened during the lunch break at school, Yoon!” Seol is talking excitedly with a squeak.

Yoongi chuckles, “No, I don't.”

“I got two lunchboxes!”

Jungkook sprints out of the kitchen, and halts abruptly near the table, “Wh- what did you say?”

Seol turns to Jungkook, “I got two lunchboxes, appa!” She repeats, her eyes going round with wonder, “they looked the same! but one had my full name on it and the other had only tae.”

“What did you do?” Yoongi asks, and takes the bowls from Jungkook's hand.

“I took the one with my full name on it,” she looks at Jungkook, “Isn't that what appa sent?”

“Ye- yeah…!”

Jungkook glances at Yoongi and he gulps with a covert smile after seeing Yoongi frowning at him. He can feel that Yoongi is putting two and two together in his head and he is sure as hell that Yoongi's gonna figure it out in no second.

“You haven't showered yet?”

Jungkook went still. If Yoongi hadn't doubted anything before, he is now- at the way Jungkook let out a delirious chuckle.

“Oh- I was– I was cleaning the dishes.” Jungkook nods while saying, bites on his bottom lip, pointlessly. He feels like a teenager who got caught for his first crush, only he is a thirtysomething grown man!

“Are you coming to eat or not?” Yoongi asks with a raised eyebrow.

Oh, he is screwed!

Throughout the dinner, Jungkook tried to not give his eyes to Yoongi. But whenever he glanced at him, Yoongi gave him a frown or questioning eyebrow raise. It's not that he's afraid or something. It's just– Yoongi won't stop nagging if he gets to know about it. He might go as far to say, ‘you guys are destined to know each other!”

Not that Jungkook thinks it like that. He is not sure how to explain that, he feels a kind of comfort in those letters and there's nothing more.

The half an hour he spent at the dinner table is the longest half an hour he had ever spent on self-reflection. Jungkook flees to the kitchen the moment Seol empties her bowl. He washes the dishes with a relief of how he dodged a bullet there–

“Who is Kim Taehyung?”

The bowl in Jungkook's hand drops to the sink with a loud thud. The gusts of wind coming through the window is doing a bad job at simmering down the burn seeping through his neck to face. He washes his hand and wipes it on the towel, buying some time– he feels stupid!

Jungkook turns around, leaning against the counter, “What?”

Yoongi holds out the purple lunch bag, and points at the sticker.

Shoulders sagging, Jungkook let out a sigh.

…….

Yoongi hops on the counter, flabbergasted. He looks at Jungkook, eyebrows knitted together and mouth agape in a questioning and speechless look at the same time.

“What the actual f*ck!”

Jungkook comes forward, “Yoon-”

Yoongi shakes his head, “So, you're telling me, your first reaction was not anger at how someone ate your daughter's lunch but how this person is lonely?!” he scoffs.

The way Yoongi worded it out felt like someone poured a bucket of cold water down his spine. Jungkook fidget on his feet, “It's not like tha–”

“Who are you?...and what happened to our Jungkook!”

“Hyung…” Jungkook whines.

Yoongi sighs, leans back to the wall. He looks at the name on the sticker and back at Jungkook.

“There's nothing, hyung…” Jungkook leans sideways, hips pressed to the counter. He hears Seol singing in the living room, and the real slim shady playing louder on the TV.

“Oh yeah?” Yoongi scoffs, sits straight, “You're not just sending a lunchbox to a stranger but writing him letters!”

Jungkook tch-ed in annoyance, “He seems like a nice person, hyung. I liked reading his-”

“Oh, I'm sure you liked reading his letters!” Yoongi chuckles, relaxing, “but, what do you mean ‘there's nothing!’ this can be every-”

Jungkook groans, “Ah! stop it hyung…”

Yoongi continues to blabber, “I mean, this is great! I'm happy for you Guk!” He doesn't even mind Jungkook, “No, I'm really proud of you! You're doing great!”

“Hyung, stop!” Jungkook shakes Yoongi's shoulder, “we're not discussing-” Yoongi tries to speak but Jungkook jumps over his words, “we're NOT discussing this again!”

“Come sing with me, Yoon!”

Yoongi gets off the counter at Seol's squeal. He gives pouty lips to Jungkook, sulkingly, while walking towards the door.

“You have any dwaejigogi in the refrigerator?!” Jungkook shouts in Yoongi's way.

“Oh my God!” Yoongi yells while walking out of the kitchen fastly.

“Hyung...!”

*****

“Look Jungkook– we weren't informed about the pregnant lady, and she is due in no time! All we can do now is get you two to a hospital.”

“But s-sir, we wanna go with everyone else!”

“Understand the situation, Jungkook. We'll take care of everything at the hospital. But that's all we can do!”

….

Jungkook startles, when two nurses run past him. He leans against the wall tiredly, and watches the red light in front of the labour room flickering continuously. Taejoon would’ve been surprised to see how the ‘other side of the world’ is not so different; how strangley everything looks familiar. It's funny how humans are pretty much similar regardless of the place. Jungkook got the taste of humans on this side of the world the moment they got here– Hong Kong. The broker betrayed them; he had told them that they would go to America after his sister's delivery. But the man didn't even tell the sponsors about his sister’s pregnancy. So while everyone who came with them went to the airport, Jungkook and Jongseo had to go another way.

Jungkook thinks about the people who came with them. They all must be daring to dream about a new life in a fascinating country, while he prayed for his sister's life; to not make him an orphan; to not make him all alone in this unknown place– in this obscure life.

Jungkook wipes the tears with a whimper, clutches the bag in hand tightly as he walks towards the labour room. He peeks through the glass door anxiously, but sees only the white curtains. He looks over his shoulder swiftly, when he hears hurried footsteps approaching the room. He steps aside and watches the staffs rushing inside the room, cluelessly.

Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes turn into hours. Time flows imprudently. Jungkook waits and waits.

At last the red light turns off. The door opens and Jungkook keenly watches the nurse coming towards him with a tiny white bundle. He goes rigid when she holds out the baby towards him. The silence around him is so thick, he could touch it. Jungkook drops the bag into the floor promptly, ignores the cold sweat that breaks out on his body and takes the baby to his hand in a beat.

“It's a girl.”

Tears flowed through his cheek. Jungkook nods with a chuckle. He pulls the white cloth apart and sees the baby's face; sleeping so peacefully, without a care in the world. Head a tad bit bigger than an egg. “Hey…” Jungkook coo’s, holding her tiny fist and the baby opens her eyes with a loud squeak. Her eyes– rounder than even the moon. She is exactly like her mother.

When she starts crying nonstop, the nurse comes forward quickly and takes her from him. “She is not healthy enough, we’re gonna keep her in the incubator for some days, okay?”

Jungkook nods, “Jongseo– her mother?”

“She is fine now, but there was heavy bleeding and the doctors are saying she must have TB–”

Jungkook gasps, he slumped against the wall defeatedly.

The nurse looked at him sadly, eyes conveying how sorry she is. “Don’t worry, it's common to get TB because of malnutrition. But it's completely curable with medication,” she says, trying to comfort him.

“Can I see… can I see her?”

“Let me ask the doctors…” said the nurse.

…….

Jungkook waited another two hours to see his sister. When he finally gets inside the ICU, Jongseo is lying on the bed, tubes all around her and a constant ‘beep beep’ coming from the monitor. She glances at him languidly and Jungkook clutches the cold metal rail of the bed at the sight. His heart tugs seeing her all hooked to the machines.

“Did you see her?”

Jungkook nods with a feeble grin, he sits beside her on the bed.

“That’s Tae Seol, Guk.” Jongseo chuckles with a tear falling out of her eyes, “he wanted to name the baby Tae Seol if it's a girl and Tae Eun if it was a baby boy.”

“Seo–” Jungkook holds her hand.

Jongseo shakes her head, “Why’s he not here, guk!” she screeches, “He wanted to see his baby so badly! Why’s our life like this!”

“Don’t strain, girl!” A nurse rushes to their bed, "The stitches are fresh!” she shouts. Jongseo halts on her words, muffled whimpers escaping her mouth.

The nurse turns to Jungkook and gives him a slip, “They’re for the baby, since breastfeeding would be risky.”

Jungkook looked at her cluelessly.

“There’s a pharmacy at the ground floor–”

He nods quickly at the realisation and runs out of the ICU with a last glance at his sister's tear smeared eyes.

……..

When something goes wrong in life, it might be the beginning of a chain reaction. The first wrong thing in Jungkook’s life was being born in that country. Every other wrong thing was just a follow up. Taejon surrendering to death was the last one in that chain or at least he hoped it was.

Jungkook halts on his steps seeing the staffs rushing inside the ICU. In his next step Jungkook knew what's awaiting him. He braces himself when he sees the doctor coming out.

Jungkook grips the plastic bag in hand tightly as the doctor stands in front of him.

“We're so sorry, Jungkook. Her condition was critical and–”

Jungkook was never alone. She was his companion even before they were born. They had each other all this time.

“Postpartum haemorrhage i s c o m m o n-”

Jungkook nods and walks out of there. He doesn’t wanna see her lifeless; he refuses to. Jungkook sprints towards the baby's section; feeling the encroaching numbness in his body and mind. He gasps out of breath as he reaches the room.

Jungkook gives the medicines to the duty nurse. “Can I see her?” he asks, voice trembling.

The nurse looked at him worriedly. But when he begs with his eyes, she nods. Jungkook fidget on his steps, his mind is screaming at him to end this misery. He watches the nurse come with the baby.

“Her mother wants to see her. Is it okay if I take her there?”

…….

Jungkook walks through the hallway hurriedly with the baby. He mumbles things to her, “Do you wanna see your mother, baby? Yes?”

He takes the stairs.

“Me too… I wanna see my sister… Let's go and see your parents, Seol.” His pace increases. He gets to an abandoned floor in the building, and walks towards the railing. His legs shake, throat quivers as he gets on top of a desk. Jungkook wraps his hand around the baby tightly as he looks down.

“HEY…!!!”

Jungkook looks over his shoulder swiftly and sees a staff running towards him. “Don’t come any closer! I'll jump!” the baby starts crying and it echoes in the hallway.

The man halts on his steps. “I won’t! But… can’t you hear the baby crying! They’re hungry!”

SHE IS HUNGRY.

Jungkook looks down at the crying baby. Sweat beads slide through his temple. His eyes bleed the pain in his heart.

“You can do whatever you want but don't take the baby’s life…” the man says and comes closer; he holds out his hand, “Please give me the baby…”

Jungkook glances at the man and shakes his head, “No, she'll be alone here…”

The man gives him a gummy smile, “Then don’t let her be…”

And sometimes the worst ‘wrong thing’ can make you reborn—

*****

Jungkook snaps his eyes open. He looks around with a sigh, tries to make sense of the surroundings. His eyes adjust to the darkness and he sees a figure near the window. Jungkook turns on the bedside lamp and sees Mingyu’s back towards him; he is looking out the window whilst a cigarette burning in his hand, the smoke drifting out into thin air. Jungkook takes his shirt from the foot of the bed and stands up. His footsteps louder in the eerie night.

Mingyu turns around,seeing the light, hearing the footsteps. “You’re awake?” he whispers, taking a puff.

“Yeah…why did you let me sleep here!?” Jungkook says lightly, while wearing the shirt. He looks at the bedside clock— it's 2:40 am.

“You were sleeping calmly, I didn’t wanna wake you…”

Jungkook walks out of the room with a nod; without any reply. But he turns around, “Seol is alone, I need to go.”

Mingyu nods in a beat, “I saw her this morning, in the lift, she gave me a smile. The exact bunny smile of yours.”

Jungkook grins with a nod and turns around.

“Jungkook…”

Jungkook looks over his shoulder with a frown.

“I- I wanted to tell you something…” Mingyu says hesitantly and comes forward. He walks past Jungkook and goes to the living room.

“You remember the guy I told you about– Wonwoo…” Mingyu drops to the couch and looks at him curiously.

Jungkook did remember. A few months ago Mingyu slept with a guy from another company who is collaborating with theirs.

“Yeah…” said Jungkook.

Mingyu nods, he takes the beer bottle from the tea table which is almost over and drinks the last few drops in it. With a sigh he looks at Jungkook, “He's serious about me. And I wanna give it a try…”

Jungkook knew something like this would happen sooner or later. But he didn't see it coming this fast. He clears his throat, shocked. Jungkook grins, “Wow, that's great Gyu!” He nods reassuringly as Mingyu looks at him nervously. Mingyu was a nice guy, understood Jungkook's boundaries and made his life a bit easier. They were clear about what they wanted from each other.

Jungkook chuckles, “I get it… so, you don't wanna continue this—”

“Is it okay? He's a great guy…”

Jungkook walks towards the couch swiftly, “Of course it's okay! I'm really happy for you Gyu!”

And Jungkook is truly happy for him. Somewhere in his heart Jungkook knew he was using Mingyu. It was mutual– but still he was. And he always regretted it. If Mingyu gets someone who truly admires and loves him, that's the best thing Jungkook could hope for.

Mingyu looks at him, giving him a sly smile…

𝐻𝑖 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔,

𝐼 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑗𝑎𝑝𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑧𝑧𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎 𝑠𝑝𝑎𝑚 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑝. 𝐻𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡.

𝑁𝑜𝑤 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘 ;) 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝐾𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑤𝑜𝑛 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑘𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑎, 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑊𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑎𝑛. 𝑊𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑠, 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐽𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑒𝑜. 𝑂𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑡. 𝐺𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑢𝑝 𝑤𝑒 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑡ℎ 𝑘𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑠. 𝑀𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑢𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠ℎ, 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡. 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑓𝑓 𝑤𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑙. 𝑂𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 ℎ𝑜𝑎𝑥 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑢𝑒𝑙𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑏𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝑆𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑. 𝑊𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑒𝑥𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑑. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝑀𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑎𝑤, 𝑇𝑎𝑒𝑗𝑜𝑛– 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑝ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑔𝑢𝑦, 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡.

𝑊𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑓 ‘90. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑜. 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑- 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚. 𝐼 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑. 𝑆𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚, ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔…

𝑀𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑡, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤— 𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒. 𝑇𝑎𝑒𝑗𝑜𝑛 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑏𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑒𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝐻𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠…

𝑀𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟… 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑙 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛.

𝐼 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑦, ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑢𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐴 𝑛𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑑𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛— 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑦. 𝑀𝑖𝑛 𝑌𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖— ℎ𝑒’𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑙’𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑑𝑓𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝐻𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑢𝑠 𝑎 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑓 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑, 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑗𝑜𝑏, 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑢𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑙. 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑧𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠— 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔… 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚.

𝑆𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔, 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦! 𝐻𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒, ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔. 𝐿𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑡 𝑜𝑓, 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠. 𝑆ℎ𝑒’𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔.

𝑃𝑆: 𝑌𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢! 𝐻𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠!

𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘

“Excuse me sir, can I sit here?”

Taehyung looks up from the letter. Suddenly he’s pulled back to reality with a sudden jolt. The chitter-chatter comes alive around him and he looks at Hoseok confused.

“Were you crying, sir?” Hoseok asks anxiously, while sitting across the table casually.

Taehyung touches his cheek, stunned, and wipes the tears. The sheet of paper in his hand had a person’s full life written on it. Taehyung could never imagine coming out of a life like that without being scattered. And he is sure Jungkook is an art accumulated with those scattered pieces. What's it called— kintsugi. All his scattered pieces must be mended with gold. His heart is golden— Taehyung is sure. Jungkook is golden.

Taehyung gulps and starts to fold the paper quickly.

“Is it okay if I join you for lunch sir?” Hoseok asks, even though he already sat down, and glancing inside Taehyung’s lunchbox curiously. Taehyung nodded hesitantly.

“What’s that sir?” Hoseok points his eyes towards the paper.

Taehyung turns the paper back and forth a few times, examines it as if it's a foreign object he has never seen before and tucks it in his pocket like it's a junk thing mistakenly got into his lunchbox. He takes the chopsticks and starts eating as though nothing happened. Hoseok eyes him suspiciously for a moment and then starts eating.

Taehyung coughs instantly after taking a bite from the spicy japchae. He takes the bottle beside him fastly and gulps down a chunk of water. He glances at Hoseok and sees him eying his lunch box while eating . With a sigh Taehyung pushes Jungkook's japchae forward. Hoseok shakes his head, “No, it’s okay, Mr Kim,” he says.

“It’s fine Hoseok, this is too much for me, you can have some.” Taehyung insists. Hoseok sighs, gives him an ear to ear smile and starts eating the japchae. Taehyung watches him with a snigg*r and munches on the gimbap. It's sweet, just like Jungkook. Taehyung frowns at his own thought.

“Wow, this is delicious, sir!” Hoseok says, chewing the food like a tiny squirrel.

Taehyung nods with a smile.

“Who writes letters these days, sir? Nowadays everyone uses email.” said Hoseok.

Taehyung went still, “wh- what?!”

“The paper— it was a letter, right…” Hoseok says with a mouthful and starts rambling, “I mean this is the era of e-mails…”

𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘,

𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑’𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑟, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼’𝑚 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡. 𝑆𝑜, 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡! 𝐷𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦, 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑. 𝐻𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑜𝑘— ℎ𝑒’𝑠 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒. 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑗𝑎𝑝𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼'𝑚 𝑎 𝑓𝑎𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑔𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑎𝑝 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑜𝑛𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟, ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑘𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑠? 𝐼𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑢𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑑, 𝑌𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖?

𝑁𝑜𝑤 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘— 𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑢𝑟𝑔𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑑. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑’𝑣𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑔. 𝑌𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛. 𝐼’𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒; 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑟𝑔𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑦. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦. 𝐼’𝑚 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘. 𝐼’𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑣𝑒 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑙 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒.

𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑. 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ. 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑛𝑒’𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒. 𝐼𝑓 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑒, 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑'𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑜. 𝐼𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑤𝑒’𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘.

𝑇𝑎𝑒ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔

It’s dim inside Jungkook’s room. Only the bedside lamp was shining. Jungkook lies on his front, looks at the letter laid on his pillow. He reads the last few lines again; the self-loathing dissipating through the words that comes from losing a loved one, gives a tug at his heartstrings. Because he knows that feeling. Because once Jungkook felt that self hatred in his core.

And it's that exact pain he feels for Taehyung is what draws him closer to that heart. A need to hold that heart in his embrace. To hold Taehyung and be held in Taehyung's arms. Just like what Taehyung said, comfort each other with a warm hug.

And it's that exact pain that makes him picture a man in his forties. It's blurry because he doesn't know how he looks or any of Taehyung's features for that matter. Does he wear glasses? How does he smile? How do his eyes look?

Jungkook shudders at the thought.

His heart rushes and it's a new kind of rush. His lips quiver for something— it needs something, it wants something. With a gulp Jungkook leans down, skims his nose through the letter gently. His breathy exhale grazes on the letter. Jungkook tries to find, if he could grasp any details of the man. And he gets it— a whiff of a wooden musky cologne with the fragrance of a mix of cedar and patchouli.

The thought was so sudden but it really flashes through his mind— What if Taehyung was lying here? Telling him things… holding him close—

Jungkook leans away stunned. He puts the paper inside the desk drawer and turns off the light quickly. The bed squeaks when he lies down on his back.

Jungkook closes his eyes, failing terribly to control his wandering heart…

“I’m so-sorry, baby.” Jimin mumbles.

The oxygen mask sits on his chin. He is dazed because of the sedatives. Surrounded by all the monitors and machines. Tubes are all around him. Jimin doesn’t look quite himself; he looks bloated, with all the fluids in his body to stabilise him. All the chemo's left only the blueprint of him. Hair all gone, eyebrows gone, lifeless eyes and chapped lips. Jimin hated chapped lips, he always kept them plump; often teasing Taehyung to choose between strawberries and his lips.

“Don’t say that…” Taehyung shakes his head, tears fall out of his eyes one after the other like the beginning of a downpour. “...Don’t say sorry,” Taehyung pleads. He holds Jimin’s hand closer to his chest, like how Jimin would hold him in rainy nights full of lightning and thunderstorms. He presses his lips onto those knuckles in a tiny fist. A whimper escapes his mouth, reminiscing the times when he used to tease Jimin's tiny hands.

‘We did everything we could. Go see him, Taehyung. Be near him in his last few minutes.’

Taehyung shakes his head, startled, when the doctor's words tear through his mind, giving him a tremor of pain. He clutches onto Jimin's hand, while his whole body trembles. His eyes refuses to leave Jimin. He's scared to even blink them.

“Listen to me tae,” Jimin groans out the words. “You came to this country with me. Left everything behind for me–”

“No! No, don't do that!” Taehyung shouts.

Jimin let out a chuckle, “Don't make me scold… will you let me finish?” He chided.

Taehyung's lips quiver in a pout, he nods.

“You left everything behind to just be with me. And I'm grateful for that. Do you know something, Tae?” Jimin smiles, eyes disappearing. “You're so easy to love.”

Taehyung's whimpering started to reverberate in the ventilator room.

“And I'm grateful that you were mine for the past seven years— that you loved me, but-” Taehyung leans forward from where he sits on the bed and presses his lips onto Jimin's.

“Baby, please. Don't go…” Taehyung begs, voice trembling. He stares at Jimin's eyes.

“Listen carefully, Tae.” Jimin whispers. “You'll meet someone amazing– down the line… and they will adore you– love you for who you are. Don't scare them away. Love them, Taehyung. Because there's so much love in your heart and—”

The beeping from the machines starts to get louder. Taehyung stands up quickly–

“Tae…, please be happy-” Jimin's voice breaks. Taehyung places the oxygen mask back on his face.

“DOCTOR…!”

Taehyung looks over his shoulder, frightened, and watches the doctors sprint inside the room– and he goes stiff when the beeping is cut down.

The doctors and staffs get to the bed and Taehyung steps aside. He watches them all gathered around the bed. His step falters; he slumped against the wall stunned. One of the doctors turns around, he looks at Taehyung, shakes his head side wise in condolence.

Silence.

Taehyung tastes the silence that would engulf his life for the first time…

*****

‘Tae, please be happy.’

Taehyung wakes up with a sudden jerk of his head, the answer sheet he was evaluating falls out of his hand. He felt groggy, the quick nap he fell into made his head a little disoriented. His neck hurts at the way it snapped. He massages his nape and adjusts his glasses while looking around the staffroom passively. Sees another teacher who has this hour free, reading some book. It's just the two of them in the staffroom. The non-stop chattering of students and the loud voices of teachers over them comes from different classrooms around the staffroom. Taehyung leans down idly and takes the paper. He stretches his limbs to get rid of the drowsiness.

Grief is an inevitable part of every human life. Taehyung learned it with his own life. Everyone who loved someone would sooner or later go through it. At first he felt guilty to be alive. Questioned the meaning of being alive without Jimin. For months he didn’t come out of his room. Felt angry towards the world that didn't even bat an eye at his loss. Going to school was the hardest thing. But being around kids made some kind of use to his life. Slowly everything felt manageable. Then some days everything would go downhill. Those busy days, where he won’t even think about Jimin. And it felt like he betrayed their love. It made his anger boil and all he could do was cry.

Days went by. With that went his youth. He forgot how being in love feels like. Time felt like a blessing more than a curse. Reduced the depth of his pain to an extent. Then days like Jimin's birthday, Jimin's first ballet performance, the day they first kissed, and the day they came to Hong Kong … all of that would pop up every year. And he slowly came to understand the saying, that grief is like a wave. He needs to come out of each wave alive. Live one day at a time. Then slowly he saw the distance between those waves start to increase. At one point he accepted that this grief was now a part of him and the fact that it will never go away. Slowly he started to appreciate the time he got to spend with Jimin. Now everything feels like a bittersweet memory. But sometimes he still felt like a coward who feared death. If not, why didn’t he end all that misery.

Something that he understood with difficulty is that there are no big reasons to be alive. We are just simply here. But nowadays, he feels like there's more to his life. Because there’s a reason to get up everyday. Taehyung is waiting for something nowadays.

He looks up from the paper when a staff comes inside the staffroom with the lunchboxes. He watches them coming towards his table and dropping the purple lunch bag on his table. He greets the staff with a smile and watches them walking towards other tables. His hands itches to take that lunchbox and open it to find that letter.

The buzzer goes off at the same time as Taehyung looks at his watch. He takes his lunchbox and dashes to the breakroom. It feels like he’s nineteen all over again.

𝐻𝑖 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔,

𝐼’𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑦 𝑗𝑎𝑝𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑒. 𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒’𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑦 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢;) 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡, 𝑌𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑖 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑠. 𝐴𝑙𝑠𝑜, 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑅𝑢𝑏𝑦 𝑅𝑒𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡? 𝐼’𝑚 𝑎 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒!

𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒, ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔.

𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘

Maybe, just maybe, Jimin was right.

All this time Taehyung thought he deserved to be alone. He was wandering in the dark like a moth in the dead of night and finally he could see a flame of hope flickering at the far end of the tunnel. Taehyung had never read a sentence this many times. Never repeated a sentence this many times in his head. Because no one comforted him with just a line. That one line felt like a sonnet. Simple yet so difficult to digest. And all he could think was that one line that kept him alive all these years—

‘Tae, please be happy’

‘You’re not alone, hyung’

‘Tae, please be happy’

‘You’re not alone, hyung'

And maybe, Taehuyng is not alone anymore. Somewhere someone is there for him. Thinking about him. Waiting for his words. A picture shot through his mind— A young man being busy around a kitchen, cutting vegetables fastly, slicing meat, tasting the spice level of the japchae, and writing some lines on a piece of paper over the kitchen counter while thinking about him. How does he look? Does he have round eyes? How does he smile? Does he have any moles on his face?

What if Taehyung was there? Helping him with the cooking, cutting vegetables for him while he cook—

‘You’re not alone either, Jungkook,’ Taehyung thinks while eating the less spicy japchae made just for him.

……

The yelling of the students is louder in the playground. Girls and boys are running around without any care in the world. They don't even mind the smouldering sun right above their head. Taehyung spots Hoseok on the basketball court. He slowly walks toward there hesitantly. Student’s started to scatter around on either side frightened as they saw him. He tries to plaster a smile on his face, but looks like that made them flabbergasted. He lets out a sigh when Hoseok turns around and sees him. Taehyung waves his hand timidly, and watches Hoseok looking at him amusedly.

“Mr Kim?” Hoseok passed the ball to a kid and walked towards him with knitted brows. His long sleeves are rolled up to his elbows on either side, loose necktie sits on his chest, first two buttons of the shirt undone, and sweat beads shine on his forehead.

“Hi…” Taehyung greets, giving him a gleeful smile.

Hoseok grins, he points at the side bench and goes to sit there. “Swing it, Li!” He yells towards the court and gulps down some water. He gasps out of breath. Taehyung slowly walks towards the bench and sits beside him. “What’s it sir?” Hoseok asks, turning towards him.

“Nothin–” Taehyung shakes his head, “I was just looking around for you,” he wets his lips, “you didn’t sit with me during the lunch break…” he looks at Hoseok from the corner of his eyes.

“I thought– that's not the vibe I got from you,” Hoseok looked at Taehyung dumbfounded, “...I thought you didn’t want me to sit with you,” he said, watching Taehyung in amusem*nt. What's more unusual is for him to see Taehyung at the playground. This is Taehyung’s usual hour to be at the library and be immersed in some books.

Taehyung sighs, “It's not like that… you can sit with me.” he assures.

Hoseok’s frowning deepened, “Okay…” he nods hesitantly. “Now tell me the real reason,” he said with a mirthful smile.

Taehyung chuckles at that, he purses his lips, “Yo–you have a student named Tae Seol?” he asks curiously.

Hoseok looks at him, mouth agape. He clears his throat when Taehyung raises an eyebrow, “No, I don’t think so,” he shakes his head while thinking, “They might be in the elementary grade. Who is it sir? Your niece?”

Taehyung gnaws at his inner cheek, “Nah, a distant relative…”

“Oh, if you want, we can go to the elementary grades staffroom and ask around…” Hoseok suggests with a smile.

Taehyung shakes his head quickly, “No, it's okay,” he says hastily. It's not that he wanted to talk to the girl. He just wanted to see her from afar. “Bye, Hoseok,” Taehyung says and slowly gets up.

Hoseok watches him in stupor, “See you around sir,” he said.

Taehyung smiles with a nod and starts to walk away.

“I don't mind, you know.”

Taehyung looks over his shoulder, “What?”

Hoseok gives him a smug smile, “If it wasn't clear yesterday…, I don't mind that you're gay.” he says gently and stands up, “I'm married, Mr Kim.”

Taehyung's eyebrows twitch, he bursts into giggles surprisingly. Funny how not once that went through his mind. Hoseok watches him in pure shock. “You're funny Hoseok ,” Taehyung says in between the laughter.

A smile blooms in Hoseok's face and soon turns into chuckles. “You play basketball, sir?” Hoseok asks, suppressing his laughter. He grins lightly when Taehyung nods.

Taehyung strolls towards the court with Hoseok. The boys watches in awe to see the playful side of their strict English teacher. Taehyung laughs as he runs whilst dribbling the ball. He slams the ball through the hoop surprising everyone in the basketball court.

Maybe life is not so dull if you can start to open up a bit and try to enjoy the little things that comes in your way.

𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘,

𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑖𝑑. 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑝𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘. 𝑁𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝐼’𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦, 𝐺𝑢𝑘? 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑒’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝐺𝑢𝑘.

𝐼𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑚– 𝐽𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑛, 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒, 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑖𝑛 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑙. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑟𝑖𝑐ℎ, 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝐵𝑢𝑠𝑎𝑛. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑜 𝑡𝑜 𝐿𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑒. 𝑊𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑢𝑝, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟! 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑝𝑒. 𝑊𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘, 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒. 𝑊𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ; 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟.

𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑗𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘, 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑑𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝐻𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐶𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟— 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑, 𝐺𝑢𝑘, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛, ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦. 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑, ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑’𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡’𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑'𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝑑𝑜𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑠 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑎 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ 𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑒𝑙 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑚. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑖𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠. 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒. 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑’𝑣𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑐𝑟𝑢𝑒𝑙, 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘? 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐼 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒, 𝐺𝑢𝑘. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢— 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦. 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒… 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛…

𝑇𝑎𝑒ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔

Jungkook hopped off the counter. He takes a cold bottle of water from the fridge and gulps down some. His legs quiver and he crumbles onto the ground. Feeling someone’s pain to the core was always his weakness. Jungkook sobs clutching the paper to his chest. His muffled whimpers belonged to the nights secrets. He cries for Taehyung’s lost love…

One more story to the game of life; the tales of unfairness. It's funny how these unfair turns of events that happened in their lives were the reason for them to eventually come into each other's lives. If Taehyung or Jungkook hadn’t gone through any of these hardships would they ever come to know about each other…

The darkness seeping into the kitchen in the wee hours of the night was the first witness to a love that was blooming inside Jungkook’s heart. The lunchbox that carries a piece of both of their broken souls was another witness. To this day, falling in love with someone was a myth to Jungkook. But now… now he knows what it is— it’s sharing someone's emotions. Accepting the life they've been through and being there for each other for the person they want to become. And when life becomes unfair, be each other’s fairness in this world. Be each other's hope by reminding them that there's still good in the world— and always will be…

𝐻𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔,

𝑂𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑜. 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒. 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼’𝑚 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝐽𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒.

𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦, 𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝐼’𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑤, (𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦). 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠. 𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒, 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝐼'𝑚 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦—

𝑌𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒.

𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝐼'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑂𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑚𝑒. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒. 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒… 𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑦, ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔?

𝐺𝑢𝑘

Telling someone you have me is the biggest commitment anyone can make. So Taehyung feeling this breathlessness is valid. This rush of heart for someone else is valid. Feeling this new kind of being alive for the first time after years is valid. Feeling like that for the entire day is very much valid.

The care and understanding Jungkook radiates through the words is making him a fool he once was at nineteen.

Now he is a fool falling in love with words. A fool that is falling in love with someone he has never met.

Taehyung walks inside the cemetery. A bouquet of meadowsweet shuffled between white roses in his hand. The honey scented sweet smell of the flowers reminded him of spring. The times when he would go to Jimin's performances and give him his favourite flowers.

The yellow hue of the evening sun scattered through the branches of the big old trees. He walked through the gravel footpath with trimmed lush green grass on either side. His eyes wandered on the entire field that was filled with rows and rows of graves.

The bustling city goes mute as Taehyung reaches Jimin's grave. Its surroundings are overrun with various bushes and weeds. Even some flowers are blooming here and there. Taehyung takes a deep breath as he steps onto the grass, leaving his shoes on the footpath. He stares at the gravestone for some time distantly. Slowly he crouches down and sits on his knees in front of the grave. He knits his brows in a frown seeing the oak leaves scattered on the quartz slab. He reaches up to the grave and brushes off all the dry leaves. “So long, Chim.” He smiles feebly, “How are you?” He puts the bouquet on top of the grave.

“You don't have any pain now, right Chim?” Taehyung nods at himself. He lets out a sigh, his lips quivering, he fiddles with a dry leaf in his hand, “I think– I think I met the one you told me about.” Taehyung mumbles.

He watches a dainty sulphur fluttering around the bouquet. A tear falls off his eye seeing the butterfly land on the rose petals. Cool breeze flows from the nearby tree, skimming around the field and lightly touching his face. He grins gently at the grave.

“Jungkook. That's his name. I told him about you. Oh, I haven't met him yet, so, I don't know how he looks.” Taehyung chuckles, “But his words, the way he sees the world, it's giving me life, Chim. I think you were right, that— there's so much love in my heart. He wants it, Chim. He needs it. And I think he was waiting for someone who can understand his wounds all this time. In a way I think I was too. He told me…. he told me I have him.” Taehyung gasps, “Am I doing the right thing, Chim? Should I give another chance to life?”

Tears start to flow as more butterflies flutter around the flowers. He smiles when one of them comes to sit on his shoulder.

……

Taehyung let out a breathy exhale as he got out of the cemetery. He walks through the sidewalk while looking at the distant idly. The loud noises from the bustling city numbs his brain.

“Sir!”

“Mr. Kim!”

Taehyung looks over his shoulder swiftly. He sees Hoseok running towards him with some groceries in either hands. Beside him was a lady, in her mid twenties, trying to catch up with Hoseok in long strides. Hoseok is still in his suit, but the necktie is gone, and his hair is a mess. He looks exhausted. The lady looks tired too, her eyes are weary.

The city lights are starting to chime on the streets. Roads are packed with cars and motorcycles. The evening crowd is in a pointless hurry like always.

“Hoseok? what are you doing here?” Taehyung asks, surprised. He clutches his briefcase on his shoulder.

Hoseok gasps for air, he gestures for them to continue walking, “I should be the one asking that! I live around the corner,” he points the tote bag in hand at a building in the distance.

Taehyung looks at the building and back at Hoseok, baffled. “I live on the next street!” he says, astonished. “Why haven’t we never met before?” he frowns while saying it.

They step aside from the sidewalk as a group of young people hurriedly comes from the opposite direction; giggling and whispering among themselves. Some pop song plays in the cafe behind them. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafts in the air lazily.

Hoseok shrugs, “Maybe you leave the school early?”

Taehyung chuckles at that with a nod. He glances at the lady who is smiling at him pleasantly. She is clutching some books in her hand and has a satchel on her left shoulder, as if she is coming from a class. The low–rise jeans and purple tank top and those short hair with blonde streaks makes her look like Joey Yung, the singer he sees on TV often.

“sh*t, sorry, this is my wife Nina, she is doing her post-grad,” said Hoseok with a radiant smile that substitutes the sun who just set in the horizon. He turns to his wife, “Nina, this is the Taehyung-sshi I've been telling you about.”

Both Taehyung and Nina bow to each other.

‘Hello, Taehyung-sshi,'' Nina smiles, “are you up for a coffee?” She points her thumb at the cafe behind them. Taehyung looks at his watch. It's 7:05 PM. He looks back at them and nods with a feeble grin. Maybe changing the same routine he lived year after year might be the beginning of a new life. A new life tasting like Jungkook's sweet gimbap rolls.

They walk inside the cafe quietly and go to a corner table. The glass windows on the side are decorated with coloured lights. The music on the radio changes into a smooth jazz piano tune. There's no rush inside the cafe. Few people are at some tables here and there, and they're lost in whatever is in front of them– a book, or the hot coffee in hand, or the loved one across the table.

Taehyung glances at the couple in front of him. They look painfully happy. A smile blooms on his face while watching Hoseok tuck the hair that fell on Nina's face behind her ear.

As Hoseok orders coffee for all of them, Taehyung thinks about something he could ask as an opening for a small talk.

“You- you guys had a love marriage?” Taehyung curses himself– that’s not small talk! He watches them looking at each other.

Hoseok is the one who answers, “Yeah,” he smiles.

When the coffee comes, Taehyung argues with himself if he should drink it or not. If he doesn't drink, he will offend them. He takes the cup and sips the coffee hesitantly. He winced instantly.

“You don't like coffee?” Nina asks, anxiously.

“No, it's okay. I can manage,” Taehyung smiles. “What's… uh- what’s your story?” He asks curiously, and takes another sip.

Nina grins, “Family drama… we eloped. We were friend of a friend kind of first meet. He's a dancer actually. Oh and he'll quit that teacher job the moment I get a job after my graduation. Plus he's saving money for starting a dance school.” Nina glances at Hoseok with a smile radiating admiration. “Isn't he the best?!” she whispered, looking at Hoseok endearingly.

Taehyung smiles looking at them. He could see a younger Taehyung with full of hope and love in them. It's a sweet kind of ache.

“I'm sorry about your boyfriend…,” Nina says gently whilst looking at Taehyung grievously. Beside her Hoseok goes stiff, he leans forward, “Sorry about her, sir,” he said quickly and continues with a stutter, “I told her– but she doesn’t mind—”

“It’s okay,” Taehyung says, grinning gently. He purses his lips whilst thinking. He wants to say to the world that he's not alone anymore.

“Uh.. there’s-uh… there is someone,” whispers Taehyung, like he is witnessing an imaginary world in his head coming to reality.

“Oh?!...” Nina frowns.

Hoseok looks at him amusedly, “What!”

Taehyung gives a nod with a slight smirk.

“What’s his name?” Nina asks, leaning forward curiously.

Jungkook. That’s the name of the man with an angel’s heart even though that heart is ruptured in the hands of life. That's the man who sends Taehyung a lunchbox made up of the taste of life.

“Jungkook.” Taehyung said. He feels a strange kind of tranquillity saying the name. Everything feels so real. He sees his life coming alive with that name.

“I knew it! The lunchbox, the letter…” Hoseok smirks smugly.

“You should come by our house someday with Jungkook-sshi!” Nina said excitedly.

Taehyung grins at their words….

Jungkook watches the red downward arrow flickering and the number in the small panel descending. He clutches the lunchbox tightly while fidgeting the strap with his hand nervously. He even forgets the fact that he’s been tapping his leg on the ground restlessly. The noises around him break off as his mind wanders about what might be in the letter.

“Seoo, come here!” Jungkook looks over his shoulder and calls out as the elevator opens at the ground floor. Seol skipped her way from where she was watching the security man dozing off in his chair.

“Hey, Guk!” Mingyu shrieks in surprise as he comes out of the lift with a huge carton in hand. His full denim outfit and the slicked back hair indicating that in a few hours he’ll be in a disco ball dancing his heart out. There are two more cartons on the lift floor. Mingyu drops the one in hand in front of the elevator.

“You're moving out?” Junkook asks while he quickly steps forward to help Mingyu with the other boxes.

“Yeah…” Mingyu says. “Hey, Seol, how was school today?” He asks as the elevator closes with a ding behind them.

“Awful… but good,” Seol said as she swayed and circled around Junkook’s legs unbothered.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be better when you get to go to college,” Mingyu nodded when Seol looked at him amusingly. He glances at Jungkook, “I was actually coming to meet you after this.”

Jungkook nods.

“Can you help me get this to my car?” Mingyu points at the car parked at the side of the main entrance.

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, and looks down at Seol, “wait here, okay?”

Seol nods, but runs towards the security to watch the old man snoring while sleeping. Jungkook shakes his head with a sigh, he takes the carton from the floor and walks behind Mingyu. The silver hyundai accent that Mingyu owns was something Jungkook has been dreaming about to buy someday– even a secondhand one. He puts the carton inside the car trunk. A black one in this model would be cool, Jungkook thinks. He watches Mingyu running towards the elevator and comes back with the last box.

“Your furnitures?” asks Jungkook.

“Oh, I've already moved all of it to the new apartment,” Mingyu says while fiddling with the car key, making a clinking noise.

Jungkook nods slightly. He purses his lips, “Isn't this too fast?”

Mingyu chuckles at that, his shoulder shakes, “Nah, I don't think so. It’s not fast when it’s the right person, I already think it’s late. I mean why waste time by waiting!” he grins with a smirk dancing on his lips.

That answer doesn’t sit right with Jungkook. He frowns. “Were you seeing him while we–” Jungkook watches as Mingyu goes stiff.

Silence.

Jungkook nods understanding, his throat bobs, “You should’ve told me. I wouldn’t have— were you cheating on him with…”

“No!” Mingyu cut him off, “It’s not like that Guk! We were in an open relationship back then. But we’re exclusive now. This whole moving in together is a part of it. Love can change people, Guk.”

Of course. Maybe.

Jungkook’s posture relaxes. He let out a deep sigh. With a chuckle he says, “That’s– uh, have a good life, Gyu,” he moves forward and pulls Mingyu in a hug. That’s all Jungkook can wish for him.

“I hope you find the one you’re looking for, Guk,” Mingyu whispers against his ear.

And maybe he’s right… that love can change people. Because there’s a blurry image of a school teacher flashes through Jungkook’s mind. “Yeah, me too,” Jungkook says, pulling away from the hug. “Goodbye, Gyu.”

…….

𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐺𝑢𝑘,

𝑌𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑒𝑡𝑏𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐻𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠. 𝑂𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑏𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠. 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑞𝑢𝑒; 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑠, 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡. 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑎𝑟, 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑘, 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑔… 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑒𝑦𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝐼𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑠. 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓. 𝐴𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑚𝑒. 𝐼 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 ;)

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑟𝑜 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝐼 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑏. 𝐼 𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝐼 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐽𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑛. 𝑇ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝐽𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑛 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒. 𝐽𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑏𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒… 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑠.

𝐸𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐻𝑒ℎ𝑒. 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤.

𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑗𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑗𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑗𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑒 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠. 𝐷𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡; 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦. 𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑛𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠! 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒, 𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢? 𝑌𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛.

𝑌𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑑 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘…. 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑑 𝑡𝑜𝑜. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒! 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑑𝑜 𝐺𝑢𝑘…! 𝐴ℎ..! 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠! 𝑌𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡, 𝐺𝑢𝑘!

𝐻𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒— ‘𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝’ ….. 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝐺𝑢𝑘. 𝐷𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢?

𝑃𝑆: 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝐺𝑢𝑘. 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 ;)

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠
𝑇𝑎𝑒

Jungkook bites his nails as he watches the letter laid on top of the counter. If the jumbled thoughts in his brain can come out, it would be deafening inside the kitchen. Jungkook moves forward and takes the letter to read it once again. His cheeks are burning in a sweet cherry red regardless of the turmoils in his mind.

And miles to go before I sleep…

Junkook repeats the words.

Home. For himself?

And that Yours!?

“f*ck!” Jungkook mutters to himself as he runs his hands through his hair. He walks back and forth inside the kitchen restlessly. What’s surprising is that Taehyung had already settled in a corner of his heart that had no space for anyone. And it’s not scary.

Now he knows what he felt. It’s the feeling of finally reaching home.

Jungkook walks out of the kitchen. He looks at the couch where Seol is doing her homework. Her books are all over the table and couch. He clears his throat, “Seoo, I’m gonna go and see Yoon, okay?”

Seol looks at him, “Can I come?”

“You do your homework,” Jungkook says as he walks towards the door, “I’ll be back in a minute.” he said and walks out of the door, closing it behind himself.

Jungkook sighs. He barges into Yoongi’s apartment fastly and sees him at the kitchen counter. If Jungkook wasn’t spiralling he would’ve noticed the man is in a casual outfit to go somewhere and questioned that first; but he is not. He takes long strides to the kitchen and drops the letter in front of Yoongi. The spicy smell drifts from the marinade Yoongi is mixing with the beef steaks.

Yoongi turns off the radio on his side swiftly, inviting an eerie silence inside the kitchen. He looks at the letter and Jungkook back and forth with knitted brows. When Yoongi sees the pleading eyes he has never seen before, he washes his hand quickly and takes the letter to read it.

Jungkook holds his breath as he watches Yoongi reading the letter. His heart was in his mouth as Yoongi looked up from the letter. Jungkook gulps, “I– I don’t know how Yoon, but he has my whole heart in the palm of his hand.” His eyes turned glassy as it welled with tears.

Yoongi moves forward quickly, wrapping Jungkook in his arms. “Hey, it’s gonna be alright… I’m proud of you, Guk.” Jungkook clutches his back tightly, a whimper escaping his mouth.

“What am I gonna do, Yoon?” Jungkook whispers.

“You need to meet this guy, guk” Yoongi says, pulling away from the hug, “and tell him what’s on your mind.” his eyes wander on Jungkook’s face.

Jungkook leans against the counter defeatedly. He let out a gasp, “But Seol–”

“Jungkook, there will come a day, where she won’t need you as much as she needs you now. And you have to face life alone at some point. Isn’t it better to have a shoulder to lean on? That too a person who can understand you…”

All his life Jungkook thought this restless running has only one purpose– Seol, and she is the one who completes him. Jungkook gnaws at his inner cheek, “but she–”

“You’re a complete person without her, Guk.” Yoongi sighs, “I know– I know once I asked for you to live for her. but–” his voice quiver in hesitation, “you know I'm saying this because you see me as your brother, and you really are my kid–” Jungkook’s shoulders sagged hearing the words, he stared at Yoongi’s face.

“So can I ask for you to live for yourself too…”

Jungkook leans forward, his forehead against Yoongi's shoulder, hiding his face there. He feels Yoongi patting his back. “I don't know. I don't know anything hyung.”

“Yes, you do,” Yoongi says, “I know you'll love him in a way no one can imagine. And I think he'll too, I mean— Yours, Tae!... That's someone who had already given you his whole heart saying it.” Yoongi says amusingly. Jungkook leans away to look at him. “I think you're destined to know each other,” Yoongi adds.

Jungkook closes his eyes with a chuckle, his shoulders shaking. He notices Yoongi's outfit at last. “Were you on your way to go somewhere?”

Yoongi grins, a sudden blush glimmering on his cheeks. “No…” he turns to the counter, “Seokjin– he'll be here in an hour,” Yoongi says and glances at Jungkook. With a sigh he continues, “I finally manned up and went to talk to him, turns out he was as nervous as me. We're gonna give this a try…”

Jungkook grins, “Ah, What is happening– everyone around me is getting their sh*t together!? First Gyu and now you too…!”

Yoongi chuckles, “Maybe it's time for you to get your sh*t together too.” He goes back to preparing the bulgogi.

Jungkook watches Yoongi while he has a spaced-out look on his face. He has to meet Taehyung. The man who poured his heart out on a sheet of paper for Jungkook. Taehyung is the reality he has been waiting for all this time. His home. “I'll meet him.” Jungkook mumbles. Warmth spreading in his heart.

Yoongi looks at him swiftly, a light smile blooming on his face. “That's my boy,” he said with a proud grin. Yoongi clears his throat remembering something, “now, shoo… Seokjin's gonna be here in any minute,”

“Can't I meet him?” Jungkook asks with pouty lips. He leans to look at the bowls on the counter.

“Yes, but not today.” Yoongi said quickly, shooing Jungkook away.

Taehyung walks through the corridors with a gentle grin flashing on his lips every now and then. Maybe he might be the only one on this campus apart from the kids who is happy that it's lunch break.

“Mr. Kim!”

Taehyung looks over his shoulder swiftly. He sees the principal gesturing his hand, telling him to meet him at the office. With a slightly annoyed heart Taehyung walks towards the principal's office.

“Good afternoon, sir,” Taehyung greets as he gets inside the cabin.

“Good afternoon, Taehyung, please sit down,” Mr. Leung says as he rounds the table to go and sit down on his chair.

Taehyung moves forward, places his books on the desk and takes a seat. He fidgets with the end of his tie as he thinks of the thousand reasons for the principal to call him now.

“Wow, is that a new shirt,” Mr Leung said, giving him a once over, “I have never seen you in anything other than white shirts. Baby blue suits you,” Taehyung tries to curve his lips into a thin smile. “You look a lot younger now… and you're glowing too,” the man continues to blabber.

“Th-thank you, sir,” Taehyung stuttered out. He holds his sweaty hands together under the desk.

“Now, do you remember a few months ago you asked me about a transfer?” Mr Leung asked.

Taehyung's whole body goes rigid. It was a long time ago– when life was all black and white and monotonous. Before he got another chance to taste life… before knowing Jungkook. Taehyung sits straight, puts his hand on the table eagerly.

“So, our branch in the northern district will be happy to welcome you, Taehyung,” said Mr Leung with the proudest smile on his face.

“Oh…” Taehyung whispers with a deep frown. He wets his lips disappointedly. “I- I don't want a transfer now, sir,” he let out the exact thought that went through his mind.

“What?!”

“Yeah,” Taehyung grins, “infact, I'm happy being here.” He said, eyes gleaming with happiness.

Mr. Leung nods, slightly knitting his eyebrows. He leans forward crossing his hands and putting it on the table, “Well, if you change your mind, let me know. You can go there next week in that case,” he states.

Taehyung shakes his head, “That won't be necessary,” he stands up and takes his books from the desk, “Bye, Mr Leung.” He said and walked out of the office as fast as he could. There is no way he is going from here. Not now. Not when his life is finally making sense.

Taehyung sprints towards the staff room. It's empty as he gets inside. He takes long strides towards his desk, eyes boring into the lunchbox on the table. He gasps for air as he drops the books on his desk. He opens the lunchbox quickly as he can't control his impatient mind. Taehyung takes the letter from the container and goes to sit on his chair. He winced at the scratched out lines as he unfolds the letter. He adjusts his glasses in hopes of reading them….

𝐻𝑖 ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔,

𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠. 𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠, ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑖𝑠… 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛.

𝐷𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒? 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜… 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠. 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑢𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡. 𝐶𝑎𝑛 𝑤𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡, ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔? 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 1:00 𝑃𝑀 𝑎𝑡 𝑅𝑢𝑏𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡? 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓𝑓.

𝑃𝑆: 𝐼’𝑣𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑏𝑢𝑛. 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑒 ;)

𝑇𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒, ℎ𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑔.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠
𝐺𝑢𝑘

Taehyung grins repeating the last few lines. Tattoos and a manbun?! He groans covering his face with the letter. His cheeks burn at the way Jungkook doesn't even hesitate to reciprocate the Yours. He let out a deep sigh with a chuckle thinking about meeting Jungkook. His home to be…

Jungkook knots his shoelace and stands up. The track lights in the changing room flickers. He looks at the mirror, tilting his head sideways as he checks his face one last time. His thoughts suffocate him inside the cramped room as he tightens his hair nervously.

Jungkook pouts whilst trailing his fingers on the black sweatshirt. He should've chosen some other colour to wear today; black doesn't feel like a good choice! But this one has half sleeves, making his tattoos stand out; so that Taehyung can find him easily.

Jungkook leans against the wall, takes the piece of paper from his pocket.

𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜𝑜. 𝑀𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑛 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑦 ;)

He sulks reading the line, at the way how Taehyung didn't even give a clue to spot him. Jungkook sighs, pockets the letter and walks out of the changing room. He grins when Namjoon comes his way.

“I heard you're meeting someone?!” Namjoon squeaks in excitement.

Eyes bulging, Jungkook moves forward quickly, “Is Yoongi hyung here?” He asks, terror flashing in his eyes.

“Uh-huh, your whole family is at the staffs cafeteria,” Namjoon said with a smirk. Jungkook leans against the door breathing out a ‘f*ck!’

He rushes to the cafeteria hastily as Namjoon trailing behind him. Jungkook halts on his steps abruptly when he sees another man beside Yoongi at the table. He looks other worldly, straight out of the TV. Elegance at its best. The man is talking to Seol excitedly using his hands and his whole body to express the excitement.

Jungkook saunters towards the table. The cafeteria is empty as it is the busy hours at the restaurant. Seol's giggling echoes in the room.
When she sees Jungkook walking towards the table, she gets out of her seat. “Appa!” Seol squeals as she runs towards him. Jungkook picks her up, holding her against his hip. He watches as Yoongi and the man stand up.

Namjoon walks towards Yoongi, patting his shoulder and whispers, “Hey man…”

Yoongi grins gleefully. He glances at Jungkook, “Before you say anything,” he says hastily as he comes forward, “we won't intrude– we won't even move from this table…”

Jungkook chuckles sheepishly, “I didn't say anything,” he says and glances at the man beside Yoongi who is smiling at him. He looks so out of place in his formal suite in the shabby cafeteria.

“Seokjin hyung I presume,” he grips Seol with one hand and holds out the other hand, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Hi, me too,” Seokjin says, moving forward quickly and shaking hands with Jungkook. “Don't scold him,” he tipped his head towards Yoongi, “I insisted on coming here after hearing about your letter business,” Seokjin tsked at himself, and adds quickly, “Don't get me wrong, it was cute. I thought if everything goes right, we can all go for dinner later…?” he sighs, “But now that I saw the look you gave him at the first glance, I think this was a bad idea…”

Jungkook can't help but let out a chuckle, he looks at Yoongi, “Is he always like this?” He asks teasingly.

“Always,” Yoongi smirks, “he doesn't know when to stop,” he comes forward standing beside Seokjin, “we'll wait here, Guk,” he holds out his hand for Seol, “now go, it's getting late.”

Jungkook gives Seol to Yoongi's hand, his throat quivers seeing Seol giving him thumbs up. He chuckles, “What's that for, huh?” Jungkook pried.

Seol shy away from his stare, “I know Appa needs best of luck for something.” She falls on Yoongi's chest. Jungkook lets out a wet chuckle, he moves forward swiftly and pecks her cheek. He glances at Yoongi, “See you in a few.” He mumbles.

“Come back with him,” Yoongi whispered back, making Jungkook gnaw at his bottom lip nervously. He nods nevertheless.

…….

Jungkook sits on a corner table in one of the front lines at the dining section of the restaurant. Where anyone's eyes will go as they step foot inside the restaurant.

Waiters pass by his table giving him a side eye. Jungkook looks at the door eagerly with each time it opens. It's crowded and blaring inside the restaurant with families and friend groups. He looks around swiftly when he hears laughter from other tables.

“Do you wanna order something Jungkook?” One of the waitresses asks as she places a glass of water in front of him. She gives him a forced smile.

“Give me a minute…” said Jungkook. He watches the waitress hurried away to other tables, impatiently.

Jungkook sighs disappointedly. He looks at his watch with gritted teeth. It's 3:15 PM already. Jungkook feels like he is the only one sitting alone. He fidgets nervously. Takes the glass of water offered to him and gulps it down. The waitress passes by him again, eyeing him with a sombre expression.

Jungkook watches as each person walks by his side. His eyes wander to anyone who is wearing formals– looking like a school teacher or a forty something. He searches for a scent of cedar and patchouli in the hundreds of scents that pass by him. His efforts are all futile and end in vain.

Jungkook places his right hand on the table, in a way anyone can notice the tattoos. He feels stupid. Frustrated. This was a bad idea. He shouldn't have done anything– he shouldn't have asked Taehyung to meet him, he shouldn't have sent letters or lunchboxes to him in the first place! Why's it always happening to him? Why's it always him?!

‘Why’s our life like this!’

Jungkook startles when Jongseo's trembling voice echoes in his head. He rubs his forehead back and forth anxiously. Time slips away from his hold. Hours pass by without minding his existence. Jungkook sagged against the chair defeatedly. He waits and waits…

Slowly the sun sets in the horizon and the city lights up outside. Nothing happened. Nobody came. The only thing that happened in the last few hours is his heart shattered into a million pieces— once again. But this time he doesn't even have a face to moan about.

Was he this easy to fool? Was he this desperate for…. for love….?!

Jungkook was lost in his thoughts when a tiny hand tapped on his shoulder. He looks at his side to see a weary Seol. He picks her up and sits her on his lap instantly. She wraps her hands around his neck, rests her head on his shoulder. He glanced afar and saw Yoongi and Seokjin and Namjoon watching him appalled.

“Can we go home, appa?” Seol asks tiredly. Jungkook hugs her close, his vision goes blurry as his eyes welled up. A tear escapes his eyes as he mumbles a trembling “Yeah…”

Jungkook wipes the tears quickly. He pulls her away to look at her face. “Baby, tell me that thing I asked you to remember always….”

Seol leans to his cheek and gives him a peck, "Seol and gukkie have each other," she mumbles.

Jungkook kissed her temple, “That's right, baby,” he said, sniffling. Seol leaned away to look at him, “What happened, appa?” she asks anxiously.

Jungkook let out a chuckle, “Nothing,” he purses his lips, “nothing happened,” he sighs, “now, let's go home?” He stands up whilst holding her against his hip. Jungkook walks towards the trio who are watching him. He plasters a thin smile on his face as he reaches them.

Yoongi comes forward, “Something might've happened—”

Jungkook shakes his head, “I don't think so,” he walks past them, “let's go home, hyung.”

……

“Seokjin hyung left?” Jungkook asks as he walks into the apartment. He sees Yoongi at the couch nursing a drink in his hand. No music playing by his side. Yoongi's loud thoughts deafening the living room.

“Yeah,” Yoongi leans against the headrest, “Seol slept?” He asks, taking a sip from the glass. The soft white light from the table lamp glows.

“Mmhm…” Jungkook walks towards the kitchen as he asks, “...you have any beer left in the fridge?”

“Yeah…”

Jungkook probes through the fridge and comes back to the living room with a few beer cans. He drinks from one, chunking more than half of it in one go and crashes to the other side of the couch.

“Jungko-”

Jungkook grins, “What a day, right!?” His head falls to the headrest, “a-r-g-h!” He groans, closing his eyes. “If anyone heard this, they would be a cackling mess right now!” Jungkook let out a delirious chuckle, “Love at thirty five! I must be crazy in the head!” he tilts his head sideways and glances at Yoongi's pitying eyes, “You know what's more funny in this— I don't even know who I loved!” Jungkook laughed ruefully. He bites on his lips while looking at the distance.

Yoongi sighs, “You know we can easily meet him–”

“No….” Jungkook shakes his head, “I don't wanna see him.” He sips the beer to the last drop. A burp escaped from his lips. “If he doesn't want to see me, I won't ever see him.” Jungkook stands up, “I'm taking this…” he collects the other beer cans from the couch and walks lazily towards the door.

“Goodnight, hyung…” Jungkook mumbles as he closes the door behind him.

He walks across the hallway and gets inside his apartment idly. His head hurts, he feels weary. Jungkook saunters inside the dimly lit kitchen mindlessly. The darkness inside there is what he needs now the most. He goes to the counter near the firescape and hops on top of it. The whirring noise from the refrigerator scatters across the kitchen.

Jungkook sits cross legged, dropping the beer cans onto the countertop. He stares at the plastic kitchen rack containing all the storage boxes of seasonings… and a certain box full of letters hiding in there stares back at him.

Slowly he leans against the window, closing his eyes instinctively. Muffled whines escaped his mouth as tears flowed through his cheeks. He clutched his chest at the pain plunging through his heart. Jungkook felt miserable for wailing for a love that withered like a dandelion in the gentlest wind. He cursed his wretched life as the never ending melancholic night lulled him into a slumber.

…….

Life doesn't wait for you to take a moment and grieve your pain. It always flows. If you wanna move with it or not– it's your choice. But Jungkook doesn't have the luxury to choose. He needs to grind every day. He needs to flow regardless of his miseries.

So Jungkook wakes up the next day, and does everything he was supposed to do like a cog in the machine.

At the restaurant, he plastered a smile whenever Namjoon came to check on him in the kitchen.

Hours pass.

Seol comes from school in the evening and he takes a few minutes break to feed her a sandwich. She trails behind him to the kitchen playfully as he goes back. Jungkook takes a disposable plastic cap and covers her hair with it. He sits her down on the metal stool in the side.

“Appa, do the cooking show!” Seol yells with a giggle. Jungkook gives her a smug grin. He adjusts the white toque on his head and starts to act and talk like the man that comes in Seol's favourite cookery show. He grins seeing Seol giggling whilst cheering for him.

Hours pass. Again.

They get home as the clock ticks at 7:35 PM. Jungkook slumps against the couch, dropping the lunchboxes onto the tea table. He watches as Seol waddles across the living room and goes inside her room.

He glanced at the purple lunch bag with gritted teeth. His stupid mind wanted some answers and a tiniest revenge. But now he feels terrible for sending an empty lunchbox.

Jungkook feels a distress seeping into his mind as he opens the lunchbox. He looks at the bottom container and there's a neatly folded sheet of paper. He sags against the couch as he reads the letter….

𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐺𝑢𝑘,

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑡.

𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘. 𝐴𝑠 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦, 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟. 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑏𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑘. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑙𝑑. 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑙𝑑. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑙𝑑. 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓-𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠. 𝐼𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒. 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐺𝑢𝑘. 𝐼𝑡 𝑙𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑖𝑡…. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑢𝑦….

𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑦, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘. 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑝𝑠. 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡…

𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝐺𝑢𝑘.

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒. 𝐿𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑛…. 𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑛 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑑𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑'𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦… 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑚𝑏𝑖 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠.

𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘. 𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑎ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑏𝑜𝑥𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑚𝑒. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡…

𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑𝑏𝑦𝑒 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘.

………

Call him stupid. Call him childish. But Jungkook wants to see the man. Because if he wanted to love someone for their looks or age, he would've done it a long time ago.

Jungkook waits under a tree after finding out where Seol's classroom is. But now that he's alone, his mind screams at him for how naive and impulsive he is. Jungkook groans internally for taking the afternoon off and coming to the school impetuously.

This whole ordeal was a rejuvenating feeling for Jungkook. Taehyung and his letters were a soothing bandage to his ruptured soul. And he thought it was the same for Taehyung too. But he might've guessed it wrong. He was shocked and fuming after reading that the man in fact came to the restaurant. He hadn't slept all night yesterday; being wide awake in the wee hours of the morning, reading the letter again and again…. And thinking how unfair it is for Taehyung to make a decision like that alone. At least he should've given the closure face to face. So that he could hear the man's voice at least once— maybe beg Taehyung to call him baby for once….

His face brightens when he hears the buzzer going off and students start to come out of each classroom in lines. He sees Seol walking in one of those lines towards the school bus. Jungkook takes long strides towards her. The chitter-chatter of students is loud. Seol glanced in his direction like she heard his inner voice. She breaks the line and runs towards him, “Appa!” she screeches.

Jungkook chuckles as he picks her up from the ground. He takes off the bag from her shoulder instantly and holds it in one hand. Seol screams her bye towards her best friend with a giggle.

She looks at Jungkook with a frown, “What are you doing here, Appa?” She asks as Jungkook starts to walk through the pathway.

“I had this afternoon off, baby,” Jungkook grins lightly, “so I thought, why not come and pick you up from school,” he said softly.

Seol sighs in excitement as she thinks about something, “Can we go and get ice cream?!” she asks amusedly.

“Uh-huh,” Jungkook grins. He purses his lips as his eyes wander around the huge campus. “Do you know where the high school staff room is?” Jungkook asks her when they get to the main courtyard of the school. He could see the entrance of the campus at a distance.

“There…!” Seol squealed, pointing her forefinger at the far end of a row of classrooms. Jungkook gulps. His throat bobs as he takes the next step. But as he moves forward, his steps start to get determined… His walk feels purposeful.

Jungkook strides inside the staff room fastly. His eyes wander to a countless number of desks. Some are occupied and some are not. He glanced at the ceiling fans as it made constant rustling noise. Jungkook gnaws at his lips while he holds Seol closer to his chest.

“You need something, sir?”

Jungkook looks over his shoulder swiftly. He sees a man in white collar, nearly his age, looking at him with knitted brows.

“Mister— Mr. Kim Taehyung…?” Jungkook turns around, asking with a stuttering voice. It felt good to let that name out of his lips.

“Oh, Mr. Kim left…” The man said in an anguished way. He leans sideways to the desk beside him. Some lady staffs rushed out of the staff room in a hurry.

“What?!” Jungkook yelps. He clears his throat quickly, “Can I— can I meet him if I come back tomorrow?” He asks expectantly.

“No… he– he got transferred to one of our schools in the northern district. This was his last day, he left at noon,” the man said, glancing at Seol and then back at Jungkook. “I'm sorry…”

Jungkook looks away. Each word he just heard slowly settles in. He could hear the noise from the ceiling fan blaring into his ears. It annoyed him somehow.

Jungkook stands there, his hands feel weak, but he holds Seol carefully. Seconds pass by.
Jungkook glanced at the man, he nodded with a curve of his lips and took a step to leave.

“Are you by any chance Mr. Jungkook?”

Jungkook halts on his step curtly. He snapped his eyes to look at the man in surprise. He feels a crippling anxiety, but nods nevertheless.

“Mr. Kim mentioned about you the other day,” the man said with a gleeful smile.

“He did?” Jungkook whispered with a frown, he swipes his tongue across his lips nervously, “Sorry, you are?”

The man stands straight, holds out his hand towards Jungkook, “Hi, I'm Hoseok… Jung Hoseok,” he said radiantly.

Jungkook's eyes gleamed with surprise, this is the man Taehyung shared his food with! “You're Hoseok?!” He blurted out in amusem*nt and Seol was the one who shook hands with Hoseok instead of Jungkook. The man nods and looks at Seol in surprise, he giggles at her in a childish way. Jungkook doubts if the man ever stops smiling.

“Nice to meet you Hoseok,” Jungkook said, letting out a chuckle at Seol's quirkiness. Suddenly his mind ponders on a query, he bites on his lips relentlessly, thinking about if he should ask or not.

“Me too Jungkook…”

“Which one is his desk?” Jungkook asks promptly. But he feels embarrassed instantly.

Hoseok sighs, “That one…” he points at a desk near the window in a corner. There's nothing on top of it. Like someone cleaned it just a while ago.

Taehyung must've been there a few hours ago. He was at that desk all these years– reading and writing and thinking… But not when Jungkook wants him there… not when Jungkook wretchedly and haplessly looked for him.

“Was there any—” Jungkook cuts himself off with a gasp, “What happened to his lunchbox?” He asks languidly.

“I don't know.” Hoseok said, sighing woefully. His smile dims looking at Jungkook. Like he understands what Jungkook was implying.

Jungkook feels exposed, feels like the people around are eyeing him. He let out a breath and looked at Hoseok. “Bye Hoseok…” Jungkook said curtly. He takes sudden steps and walks past Hoseok to get out of the staff room.

“Let me walk you to the entrance, Jungkook,” Hoseok said from behind him.

Jungkook looks over his shoulder, “No, it's okay. Thank you, Hoseok.” He said and took quick strides to walk out of the room.

Jungkook sighs as he steps into the bustling city. The evening commuters are walking in all directions. Vehicles rush past each other to get ahead of themselves pointlessly. Jungkook turns on the corner as he walks alongside the faceless crowd. The blaring madness of the hustling city numbs his brain to cope with the heart wrenching pain in his chest. It's funny how in this extreme pain, he could still act like normal, walk alongside other people exactly like them.

Are they all feeling some kind of pain too? Are they all acting like the person next to them?

His thoughts cut short as he sees the artist perched on the side of the footpath. He's painting a picture. Jungkook doesn't stop to look at them though. He knows every picture in that stall is different. Once Taehyung was in one of them too. Jungkook smirks ruefully as he walks past the painter– even that man must have seen Taehyung a number of times.

Jungkook stopped by an ice cream stall. He lets Seol stand on the ground and buys her favourite strawberry flavoured ice cream for her. As they walk through the street, Seol moans euphorically each time she licks the ice cream, unfazed by the side eyes. Jungkook holds her hand, chuckling as he watches her eat it up within seconds. They take the stairs to the subway, jostling as people rush past them. Jungkook picks her up quickly and holds her against his hips.

He walks down the stairs, along the side of the smeared graffiti walls. Couples and groups of youngsters and high schoolers rush up and down the stairs, giggling and rambling among them.

Jungkook let out a breathy sigh as they reached their platform. He walks past people to go to one of the empty benches. Jungkook bends down and sits her down. Teared posters and metro tickets are all scattered on the floor. He leans up with a grunt and stretches his limbs.

Wherever his eyes went, he saw heaps of smashed bottles, beer cans, paper cups, and whatnot by the huge waste bins. A pungent smell of people and all the dirt around, mixes together and wafts through the air.

“Let's wait till the rush goes down. Is that okay, Seoo?” Jungkook asks wearily. Seol nods with a gentle grin and sits on the bench cross-legged. Jungkook takes Seol's water bottle from her bag and gulps down a chunk of it. Seol snatches the bottle to gulp down some. Suppressing a laugh, Jungkook sits down, leaning backwards, both his hands on either side behind him on the bench, supporting his body.

“I ate everything in the lunchbox today appa!” Seol yelled in excitement.

Jungkook tilts his head to look at her. He chuckles when she nods at him comically. Her round eyes are going rounder.

“You did?!”

Seol nods, “Yeah!”

Jungkook felt content hearing it in the midst of everything else. There's nothing more he wants for her than her being healthy. He smiles as she starts to speak about her day. Jungkook hears her eagerly. He tries to pay attention to her as much as he can as his mind runs backwards to the letters and the words in it.

Words… words… words.

They're clogging his mind.

…….

Trains passed by the platform with a whoosh, indicating that time is moving forward. Jungkook looks down at his lap. He runs his hand through Seol's head, smiling softly at how she's sleeping peacefully with all the noises around them. Jungkook whimpers, the trust she has on him…. A trust like that is all he searched for in a person. He stands up slowly, whilst cradling her in his chest carefully, taking her bag and straps it on his shoulder.

Jungkook sighs as he looks around. The bright lights on the subway spread evenly all around the surroundings. He sees a phone booth to his left and walks towards there hurriedly. As he gets inside, Jungkook searches through his pocket to find some coin. He sighs in relief when he finds some.

Jungkook taps on each digit, remembering the phone number. He pursed his lips as he called Namjoon. The call goes through and in seconds Namjoon picks it, “Hello? Jungkook?”

“Yeah…” Jungkook breathes out in a low muffle, trapping his bottom lip between the teeth to not let a whimper escape his lips. He hears a shuffling noise on the other side.

“Where the hell are you Jungkook?! It's 7:00 PM and I've been waiting for you here for an hour!”

Jungkook's lips curve into a bitter smirk after hearing Yoongi's shout. He groans, inhaling a lump of air to satiate his heart, “If you're at the restaurant, can you wait for us at the subway? We'll be there in twenty minutes….” Jungkook said. He clutches the receiver with one hand and holds Seol in the other.

A deep sigh blows from the other side.

“Okay… be safe, Guk.” Yoongi said, almost like a plea.

“Yeah… don't worry hyung,” Jungkook whispers, looking down at his chest, where Seol is napping serenely.

“Bye…” He cuts the call, and looks out of the booth through the glass, sighing as he hears a metro approaching.

Jungkook gets out of the booth, goes to the ticket counter and buys their tickets. He sighs as they catch the train on time. Jungkook heaves while getting inside the compartment, sighing in relief after seeing less people and more seats.

He sits down, looking across the seats and out of the glass window. Jungkook gulps, his throat quivering as the train starts to move. He looks out at the station in forlorn, closes his eyes when the train starts to pick up the pace, leaving the station behind gradually. Tears escaped his eyes as he hugged Seol closer. He keeps his eyes shut as the metro moves farther and farther.

Jungkook can't help but think how people are lucky if they can differentiate between good days and bad days. But not him– his days are either rock bottom or below the rock bottom. If he starts to think and go down that line there's no option but to kill himself. So he clings onto Seol's tiny hands, his only lifeline.

Time jumps forward like the lightning speed of the metro they're in. Jungkook sniffles, wipes the tears with a groan as they get closer and closer to their station.

Seol opens her eyes, sulkingly, closing it instinctively at the bright lights blocking her vision. “Where are we?” She whispered with a husky tone, blinking her eyes to adjust to the lights.

Jungkook grins, “We're gonna be home soon… just a few more minutes baby,” he said. Seol smiles and gets off of his lap, yawning as she stretches her hands in front him. He holds her quickly when the train comes to a screeching halt at the platform. Jungkook stands up, looking out of the train as people start rushing out of the door. He looks around the platform while they walk out.

A sea of people walking past the people who just got down, in a hurry to get inside the train. The rushing slows down as the door closes and the train starts to move. The noise dies down with it. People in groups sprint towards the escalator to get out of the subway.

The desolate platform with a few people here and there is reflecting his own mind with scattered thoughts like a photograph for Jungkook. Like a picture in monochrome. Sucked all the colours out of his mind, leaving it stale.

Jungkook sighs as he spots Yoongi near a pillar, leaning against it tiredly. He waves his hand towards him when Yoongi sees them. Seol slipped out his hold and skipped her way towards Yoongi as Jungkook trailed behind her. Jungkook smiles feebly when he reaches Yoongi, “I'm so sorry Yoon,” he adjusts the bag on his shoulder whilst glancing to his side—

A sudden dread shooting through his spine and leaving him in cold sweat as he sees a man.

Then everything goes still.

Like time was rushing for it to come to this moment. Everything happened today and all the days before it… was to make Jungkook stand here. In this exact place.

A seeping serenity calms his body and mind. The colours disperse into his thoughts like when a paint brush dips into water.

Jungkook sees a man, who must be in early forties but doesn't look like though… not even a little bit. He is standing a lot farther from the escalator, in a pastel beige coloured shirt and brown slacks, not a white collar office attire. A round specs on his face, perfectly suiting those deer eyes. He is fidgeting with a purple lunchbox in hand– the same lunchbox Jungkook sent this morning. His footsteps are jittering as if not knowing what to choose between keep walking or retract before it's too late.

Jungkook takes off the bag from his shoulder with a gulp. He thinks of the whirring sound he is hearing from behind his head but there is no train approaching!

As the man starts to take the next step, Jungkook's heart also picks up the motion. It rushes. And calming his heart feels like the stupidest and futile attempt he has ever done. So he doesn’t even try.

The man holds Jungkook's stare like he doesn't have a single doubt that this is the person he was looking for.

Jungkook can't look away as the man demands his attention. Their eyes bore into each other like they've a lifetime of things to tell the other. They speak to each other even without the world around them knowing, even without them knowing— ‘there you are… at last!’

Beside him, Yoongi frowns, he looks towards where Jungkook was looking. He gasps seeing the lunchbox, “Is that… is that Taehyung?”

The bag from Jungkook's hold drops to the ground. Jungkook thought of long strides, but his legs betrayed him; they were running, like there's no time to wait for, like he should move faster than the wind. As fast as anyone can think of!

Seol watches her appa with a knitted brow, she taps on Yoongi's leg, “Who's that, Yoon?” she asks curiously.

Yoongi smirks smugly, “Ah! That's the guy who ate your tuna gimbap!” He leans down and picks her up from the ground.

Seol gasps in shock, breathing out a “What!” as they watch them.

Jungkook lurches forward when he reaches the man, just like the rush in his heart. Wrapping his hands around his neck and pulling him in a hug while he asks, “Taehyung?!”

Jungkook curses himself, he should've asked that first before barging into someone like that. But he hugs him close anyway. There's no cheering shrieks in the background. Like the world is ignorant of what was happening. It was just them and their pounding hearts.

If Taehyung had known Jungkook was this simple, as simple as a raindrop, he would have met him a lot sooner. He would've talked to him at that restaurant. He curses himself for not doing any of it, and wraps his hands around Jungkook's back, still gripping the lunchbox in one hand. “Yeah!”

Jungkook shudders, he latches his chin on Taehyung's shoulder, hearing the raspy voice for the first time. “I think you got on the wrong train!” He can't help but tease him a little. Make them both ease for a moment.

Taehyung chuckles, “But I think I'm at the right place,” he states.

Jungkook feels soothed by hearing him speak in that honey laced voice. It's rapturous. He looks at the distance silently. The faded musky scent of cedar and patchouli giving him a strange relief. His lips jittered, “I went to the school looking for you… they said you got transferred!” Jungkook said, his voice trembling. He closes his eyes when he feels a hand patting on his back, moving up and down on his spine, caressing him so gently.

“I didn't go…”

Jungkook snaps his eyes open, his hand wanders on Taehyung's hair on the back of his head, he looks up at the bright lights with glassy eyes, “You didn't?!” His voice quivers in a wet chuckle.

Taehyung sniffles, shaking his head. “No, I didn't,” he let out a sigh, “and for that… I'm gonna get an earful from the principal tomorrow. But I think it's okay… I think it's more than okay!” He said with a chuckle, making Jungkook laugh a bit. It's so rejuvenating to hear that sound– the sound of Jungkook's laugh. Taehyung looks at the man standing beside the pillar– that must be Yoongi, Taehyung thinks, holding Taeseol– he presumes. She is so tiny in that black and blue school uniform. Looks so similar to Jungkook. Her eyes are the exact same eyes he just saw on Jungkook's.

They break away from the hug slowly. Even though that's not what they wanted. Their heads are messy with thoughts… wants… needs. And they've a lot to tell the other. A lot. But doesn't know what to ask first.

Jungkook stands at a distance, unable to comprehend if this is really happening or not. He clears his throat, “Were you waiting here all this time!” He asks anxiously, because that's what came to his tongue first. “What if I hadn't come to the subway today?!" He chided. Not knowing he's being a little ridiculous. Because thinking about Taehyung waiting here for long hours feels humiliating to him.

Taehyung has a million answers for him. But he watches Jungkook for a moment. He's bathed in black like the night sky. Black cardigan over the black tank top with the exact same black cargo pants. Hair from his front and sides tied in a messy bun at the crown of his head, remaining hair on his back is left to just be. The fatigue of a long day is visible on his bambi eyes and the trace of tears too. His words and the way he looks has the contrast of the sun and moon. It's ridiculous but he looks like the sun came to the night sky.

Taehyung sighs with a smile curving on his lips. He puts his hand on Jungkook's shoulder, to calm him somehow, “You have to come here at some point, you work nearby….”

“So you'd have waited, even if it's tomorrow?!” Jungkook asks in exasperation.

Taehyung nods gently.

That's unacceptable– Jungkook thinks. He looks at Taehyung bewildered. Biting the lip caught under his teeth inside his mouth relentlessly. His heart flutters, and he thinks if he ignores it, it won't affect him.

Jungkook turns around after hearing footsteps approaching them. “Yoon, he said he would've waited for me even if I hadn't come here today!” Jungkook said to Yoongi like a whine.

Yoongi smiles watching both of them. He feels like this is the moment he was waiting for all these times. To see Jungkook let loose a little and be cheerful for sometime. Be young and joyous like the rest of his age. To see the playful side of him more often.

Seol held her hands out to her appa. She glances at the man beside Jungkook while he takes her to his hold quickly. She had seen this man a lot of time before…. in school. Isn't he one of the teachers at her school! Seol thinks.

“Hi, you must be Taehyung,” Yoongi greets the man with a hand shake. Glancing at the purple lunchbox on his hand.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” Taehyung smiles, “You must be the Yoongi who taught him the Korean dishes…”

Yoongi glanced at Jungkook with a surprised gummy smile and looked back at Taehyung, “That would be me!” he said in an honoured way. He purses his lips, thinking of asking something hesitantly and then asks it anyway,

“Is it okay for you to come with us– for dinner…?” Yoongi asks, giving Jungkook a sly smile, “My boyfriend is making samgyeopsal as we speak.” He said coyly.

Jungkook tilts his head to Yoongi, flabbergasted. He raised his eyebrow, frowned deeper at Yoongi as if to ask
him, ‘are you crazy?!’

Taehyung turns to look at Jungkook like Jungkook should be the one deciding it.

Jungkook grinned and cleared his throat, “Yea– yeah, can you?”

Taehyung smiles, his whole face lit up.

And Jungkook sees it. He sees Taehyung's smile for the first time. A heart shaped boxy smile, brighter than any lights surrounding him. His heart can't take that much warmth all at once. In thirty five years of his life Jungkook never felt this shy but he puts his eyes down shying away from those eyes!

Throughout the car ride to their building Jungkook kept silent. He glanced at Yoongi and Taehyung talking to each other in the front seat. But not more than a second. Because he can feel Taehyung's eyes on him. He knows Taehyung is watching him through the rearview mirror, even though he is talking to Yoongi. Even Seol is watching Jungkook with a glare. Trying to figure out what's happening around her. Jungkook knows within seconds she would figure it out just from the purple lunchbox. It would be a surprise if Yoongi hadn't told her already!

A gentle breeze passes through the window, and cools the burning in Jungkook's cheeks a little. He turns his gaze outside and suddenly the city lights and the outside world looks beautiful to Jungkook. Was he ignorant of the beauty of the world all these times? Or was he seeing them in a new perspective? Jungkook sighs at the embarrassment of a heart he has.

When they reach their building, Jungkook gets out of the car whilst cradling Seol. He walks towards the security's cabin, where the man is sitting in front of it, hearing a song playing on the radio. He smiles at the oldman as he picks up Seol's lunchbox from the table. “Goodnight, uncle Choi,” Jungkook said. And the man nods with closed eyes.

He turns around to go to the elevator and sees Taehyung watching him do what he was doing. The light in the hallway flickers. Taehyung comes forward and an iceberg melts under the pit of his stomach. Jungkook holds his breath as Taehyung walks past him. He looks over his shoulder with a frown and sees Taehyung giving the security a brand new pack of Marlboro. The oldman smiled ear to ear seeing the cigarette packet.

Jungkook let out a chuckle when the man gave a salute and tipped his hat to Taehyung. He's blown away by the fact that Taehyung befriended the man in seconds.

Jungkook watches as Taehyung walks towards them and the elevator opens at the same time. As they all get inside the elevator, Jungkook stands beside Taehyung, his heart in his mouth like a teenager standing beside his crush for the first time. The silence around them is deafening. He holds Seol against his hip while she stares at the man beside her.

“Did you eat my gimbap, ajusshi?” Seol asks in her innocent voice. And Jungkook wants to bang his head against the wall till it splits open.

Taehyung turns to the girl swiftly, “I'm so sorry dear-”

Seol cuts him off quickly, “No, it's okay, I ate your seasoned seaweed. So we are even now,” she said with a giggle.

A pause.

All of them looked at Seol, bemused. Jungkook watches her as his mouth agape in shock. His cheeks burn in a scarlet shade and if they weren't inside the dimly lit lift, anyone could spot his redness.

Seol holds out her hands towards Taehyung with a gentle smile.

There are moments that define one's life. Changing its trajectory to which way it should go. Taehyung knows it. Being with Jimin was one of those defining moments. Getting a mistaken lunchbox was another.

So he knows, those tiny hands holding out towards him was his defining moment towards a future. His heart trembles. Taehyung gulps as he glances at Jungkook. And sees him giving a nod with glistening eyes.

Taehyung gives the lunchbox to Jungkook and takes her to his arms. Carefully like holding a kitten in his hands. Her whole body feels fragile like glass, as if he drops her, she would break. Her face is so close to him as she observes his face curiously.

Taehyung chuckles, “Nice to meet you, Tae Seol, I'm Taehyung,” he said with a grin.

Seol's whole face glows, she smiles with her bunny teeth on display, “We're both Tae!” she gasps in shock.

“Isn't that great!” Taehyung said, voice so gentle, just for her.

Jungkook wants to dip his head into cold water. Because what the heck! He can't believe his eyes. Taehyung being near him is one thing. But him holding Seol like his own daughter is– surreal…! and the way they're talking….! Jungkook never saw her talking to someone new like this.

Seol nods her head amusingly at Taehyung. “Do you love my appa, Tae?!” she enquired with the same amusem*nt.

Kids are curious creatures. They would ask everything on their mind with frankness. They're carefree. That's what makes them kids! Seol's question was simple. She asked whatever went through her mind. There's nothing wrong with asking a question. Taehyung knows this. But it still doesn’t fail to surprise him.

Yoongi suppressed a chuckle after hearing her question.

“Okay, that's enough–” Jungkook moves quickly, tries to get Seol from Taehyung's hold.

“No, it's okay,” Taehyung said to Jungkook. Like he can handle the question just fine. Like he has an answer already. Taehyung looks at Seol, cradling her closer, “I do.” He said it with the same gentleness but with overflowing certainty.

Silence.

Jungkook was startled as the lift opened with a ding. His legs moved, almost as if in a reflex. He got out quickly. Even forgot about taking Seol with him.

Yoongi sighs watching Jungkook's retreating figure. He takes Seol from Taehyung's hold, “We'll wait for you two for dinner,” he said softly, glancing at Taehyung with a stifled smile.

Taehyung nods, he watches Yoongi getting inside the apartment across from the one Jungkook went to. He moves towards Jungkook's apartment, his steps a little unsure. He gulps as he opens the door to the apartment.

Taehyung looks around the place after closing the door behind him. The living room glows under the white lighting. It's cosy. Feels like home. Smells like home too. Everything inside the apartment feels like they've a certain purpose. Seol's bizarre crayon doodles on the walls showing that happiness doesn't have to be expensive or grand.

Taehyung sees Jungkook going to the kitchen with the lunchboxes. He looks at the couch and sees Seol's school bag on the seat and Jungkook's cardigan thrown on its armrest.

Taehyung purses his lips as he trails after Jungkook slowly. Hesitantly. It's dim inside the kitchen. Light from the living room seeps there lazily. Taehyung stretches his neck, peeking into the kitchen and sees Jungkook leaning against the counter near the firescape. The lunch boxes sit beside him on the counter.

Jungkook glanced at Taehyung, “Where's Seol…?” he asked.

Taehyung fidget by the door, “Yoongi took her with him,” he said gently. Scraping his nails on the door frame.

Jungkook nods. He cradles his head, groaning out a, “f*ck!”

He sighs, shoulders sagging while looking at Taehyung idly, “Can you get me a bottle of water from the fridge?” He requests, voice so tender.

Taehyung nods in a beat. He moves quickly across the kitchen and takes a bottle of water from the fridge. But he stills as he turns around like he can't walk towards Jungkook. Like he needs a push.

“Come here…” Jungkook calls out, almost drained out. As if hearing Taehyung's mind voice. Jungkook watches Taehyung walking slowly towards him. Like a weary child.

Crickets chirping and dogs barking from the streets drift into the atmosphere and blend with the noises of night. Their heartbeats blending with them effortlessly.

Taehyung goes to stand in front of Jungkook. He sees streaks of lights from the lamp posts hitting Jungkook's face. His eyes bathed in it, sparkling like two tiny stars. Taehyung's eyes trail down to the tank top and then to the tattooed right arm. He can't distinguish the tattoos separately in that dim light but sees them as a collective dark formless shape.

“Come closer,” Jungkook said.

Taehyung glances up at his eyes. Then to his glossy lips but bouncing back to his eyes like an almost terrifying way. He goes closer to Jungkook just as asked of him. Knowing that if he leans forward, they'll be pressed together.

“Drink some water, hyung,” Jungkook said gently. Like he knows Taehyung is parched even before Taehyung himself. It's that concern, that same concern he read in his letters…

‘It's not healthy to eat hotel food everyday!’

Jungkook watches him open the bottle in a stutter and chug down some water. The stubble on his chin glowing in and out with the light getting to his face. Terribly long fingers wrapped around the bottle, clutching it firmly. Jungkook gulps, feeling like the iceberg has been melting and melting in his pit for a while.

Taehyung holds out the bottle towards Jungkook. Like he also knows Jungkook is thirsty. Jungkook takes the bottle from Taehyung and drinks some water without any protest.

Taehyung watches him, those veiny hands clutching the bottle… he breathes out without making any noise. Feels like the first snow of the winter is happening inside his stomach. Funny how he hasn't witnessed snow for more than twenty years.

Jungkook puts the lid back on the bottle as he glances at Taehyung, places the bottle on the counter and stares right back at him, “I liked hugging you. Can I hug you one more time?”

The question feels stupid to Taehyung. It's irrelevant. Insignificant. Because the question should be, can I hug you from now onwards?

But Taehyung nods. No protest.

So Jungkook leans forward, draping his hands around Taehyung's shoulder, pulling him closer– if that's possible, tucking his chin at his shoulder and closing his eyes instantly.

That's home.

“The transfer— why didn't you go?”

Taehyung wraps his hands around Jungkook's waist, instantly feeling how curvy it is… far too dangerous! Jungkook smells like the city, with an aroma of different flavours of food. Like some spices, a hint of garlic and the cooked steak… like a homely meal… like home.

“I can't deny my heart… I refuse to deny my heart anymore!” Taehyung clutches the fabric on the back, “If you want me, I'll always be in your life.”

For some reason Jungkook isn't fazed. Like he knew it from the moment he saw Taehyung. But his chest tugs anyway. Fresh air whooshing through his windpipe smoothly like the cold water he just drank. His heart feels restless as he asks, “So you weren’t joking to Seol, huh?”

Taehyung bops their head together, like he was annoyed by the question. “No, I wasn't!”

Jungkook sighs with a grin, his eyes wandering in the dimly lit kitchen, fingers skimming at Taehyung's nape. Then he pulls away to look at Taehyung, hands trailing on Taehyung's shoulder, “You should've come to me at the restaurant, hyung. You shouldn't be afraid of anything– at least to me. I don't care about your age!” Jungkook shakes his head while saying, stressing on the words like he needs Taehyung to hear it clearly. “Do you hear me?” He asks.

Taehyung nods, sniffs, eyes welling up and shoulders shaking in a chuckle at Jungkook's words.

Jungkook hesitates but says, “...and you're beautiful too… maybe the most beautiful man I've ever seen,” he said, making Taehyung chuckle in surprise. He likes that smile on Taehyung's face… never wants that smile to leave his face. “If it helps, I can tell you a secret …!” Jungkook said, looking at him with tender eyes.

Maybe till that moment Taehyung was lost in those dazed eyes. But now– now he listens carefully to hear what Jungkook wants to say.

Jungkook has a coy smile dancing on his lips as he moves his hands towards Taehyung's head. He touches Taehyung's hair, fingers tangling in those black and grey locks. “I would like to have some salt and pepper in my life.”

Jungkook might have thought it's funny. Like a quirky way to say that age doesn't matter to him. But no one…. No one ever soothed Taehyung in such a way. Like he might be aged, and it's a fact, it's the reality of Taehyung. And Jungkook wants him anyway. With all the flaws and flawless parts of him. A smile blooms on Taehyung's lips.

“You know something…” Taehyung looked at those sparkling pebble-like eyes, “You are as beautiful as your words, and your words are golden, baby.”

Jungkook's heartbeat was skyrocketing. He ignores the shudder he felt. He ignores what Taehyung just called him.

Because…!

Because he has things to tell Taehyung! There's so much for him to tell! Jungkook gnawed at his bottom lip, hesitating his next words, “Th- this is… this is where I used to read your letters, sitting on this countertop and thinking about you for hours,” he said faintly. His throat bobs as he lets out a sigh.

Taehyung glances at the lunchbox, and purses his lips while looking back at Jungkook, “Can you read one more letter then?” He asked.

Jungkook stands straight swiftly, his brows creased, body going stiff in surprise.

Taehyung nods with a broken chuckle. He takes the lunchbox from beside Jungkook and opens it. He holds out the bottom container towards Jungkook. A neatly folded piece of paper sits in there.

Jungkook ignores the way his heart skip a beat as he takes the letter and unfolds it—

‘𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠,
𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠,
𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡;
𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑦,
𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟,
𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑑𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑡.’

𝐷𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑚𝑒, 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘?

And that's all Jungkook has to offer too. His nightmares, and a ruptured soul. His quest for a companion who he can trust with both of his awakened and unconscious self.

“Oh my God!”

Jungkook snapped his teary eyes to look at Taehyung, he put the letter on the counter and cups Taehyung's face in both of his hands, thumb starting to caress his cheek. He leans up pressing his lips on Taehyung's forehead, “Oh my God, you're so silly!” He looks into Taehyung's eyes, “Of course I want you in my life! I knew it from the moment you wrote ‘Dear Jungkook!’….” He yells avidly.

And Taehyung is lost between the fact he felt Jungkook's lips on his flesh and Jungkook wants him in his life.

“Is it your words or you read somewhere?” Jungkook asks, not because he wants to know the answer but to ask for the sake of asking it.

And Taehyung also knows Jungkook isn't asking out of curiosity, “Nah…. That's one of the poems I taught my students. Borges– if I'm not mistaken.” Taehyung said softly. Anything for Jungkook. Anything to ignore their blitzed hearts.

Jungkook nods.

He slowly removes his hands from Taehyung's cheek. “Do you wanna say something….?” Jungkook asks, because he's lost without words.

Taehyung has a lot to say. He had dreamt about a lot to tell Jungkook while reading his letters again and again at nights with a glass of wine as his companion. But they're all jumbled in his head now. Words don't feel enough for him.

Taehyung shakes his head, but he leans closer. Heart thumping in his chest, mind zoned out… he presses his lips onto Jungkook's forehead. First, just a little, as soft as he can. Then, firmly pressing it there, etching his lips onto Jungkook's forehead.

And he feels it. He feels Jungkook getting rigid. Like in terror. Taehyung leans away swiftly, taking a few steps backwards, equally terrified.

“I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have—”

“No! It's okay! It's just– unexpected! Come here…”

Jungkook hooks his fingers in the space between two buttons of Taehyung's shirt, and tugged him closer. Taehyung stumbles forward, his hands going straight towards Jungkook's waist and wrapping it around there, like it's natural and that's the only place his hands know.

Their eyes meet.

Something tugs at their heart strings. It's an ache. A soothing ache. As if to say finally they're in each other's presence. In each other's arms.

Leaning forward, they press their foreheads together and stand still in silence.

Jungkook moves his hand towards Taehyung's face, taking the specs away. “Can you see me now?” He asks, teasingly, putting the glasses away carefully.

And Taehyung lurches forward, pressing against Jungkook's body, like he can very much see him. His hands around Jungkook's waist becoming firmer.

All of a sudden Jungkook can't hold that stare anymore. He's not sure how he held it until now. He shies away from Taehyung's gaze, breathing out a gasp whilst. Taehyung comes closer and closer, backing Jungkook against the counter.

Taehyung is baffled at the way Jungkook's eyes went down. He was the one teasing him all these times and now he has the audacity to be shy!

Taehyung was stunned.

He moves his hand towards Jungkook's head, and touches his hair, brushing through it to the back of his head. Jungkook kept his head down all the while as Taehyung slowly unties the headband, it rolls down, freeing Jungkook's long hair.

The curls fall on his face.

Beautiful, Taehyung thinks.

He tucks the hair behind Jungkook's ears. Tugging his chin to look at his eyes. Jungkook's hand traces on Taehyung's chest, fingers circling on the shirt buttons pointlessly.

“Is this okay?” Taehyung asks.

Jungkook nods, “I– there was this guy– Mingyu, who lived a few floors above us– we used to…” He darts his tongue out, swiping at his lips, “you know– we were kind of a neighbour's with benefits thing and he has a boyfriend now.” His eyes wander on Taehyung's eyes, to see if there's any distress, but there's nothing, “You know what he said on his last day here… when we said goodbye to each other?”

Taehyung tries to turn his head around the things he just heard. But ultimately it doesn't matter to him. Jungkook's past was… not gonna affect what he feels for Jungkook. Because his past didn't change what Jungkook feels for him.

Taehyung has seen life more and in his small journey, he learned a few things too and in his tiny little head, he knows Jungkook is letting him know that he didn't do relationships in the past and he's trying to change it for Taehyung.

So he shakes his head, not knowing the answer, and looks at his eyes for what Jungkook wants to say.

“He said , ‘why waste time by waiting if it's the right person’...… before he went to his boyfriend,” Jungkook said, eyes darting back and forth in Taehyung's eyes.

And Taehyung leans forward, pressing his lips against Jungkook's moist one's, just a peck and he pulls back, “what you meant was, I can kiss you, right?”

Jungkook's heart did a thing. It whooped. Flustered like he just got kissed for the first time. He clears his throat as though coming out of a trance, “yeah…!” Jungkook yanks him in, “f*ck…!”

And their lips clasped into each other's, as if their realms clashed. Their heads rocked back and forth in a push and pull, but carefull to not let the other's mouth to slip away.

In the next moment, their heads tilt in the opposite direction, nose smashing against each other's cheek. Jungkook's hands move to Taehyung's shirt collar, grabbing it firmly, with the same intensity with which Taehyung squeezes his waist.

Their lips move slowly against each other's… like waves lapping at the shore; as if they're each other's shore.

Taehyung has a faded taste of cigar in his mouth, and Jungkook thinks it was the stress he had while waiting for him at the subway. So he sucks the taste out of the elder’s mouth. Moments pass by them. Shying away a little at the way they're not minding the time.

They kissed as they would never cease.

Jungkook has a faint taste of strawberry ice cream on his tongue with every time it comes in contact with his lips, just a little bit of it. But Taehyung chases that taste just like how he would gorge on anything strawberry flavoured.

Their bodies sway. Jungkook's torso arches with the way Taehyung's hands clutch his waist. Both of them hiss as they break away from the kiss. Lips still a beat away from the others, like they can catch it any moment if they want to; foreheads pressed against each other's and eyes closed.

“You've a nice apartment…” Taehyung grunts out, while heaving for air.

Jungkook snaps his eyes open, groans with a chuckle, “Ugh… f*ck you! Is that what you say after kissing someone for the first time!” He whines against Taehyung's lips.

Taehyung leans away to look at him, “What you want me to say?! That I liked kissing you?! Like I don't want to leave your lips at all?!”

“Exactly…!” Jungkook exhales.

He tugs him in. Making Taehyung jerk forward. They’re insane at this point but Taehyung doesn't care. He helps Jungkook hop on the counter, the younger wraps his legs around his back hastily, and pulls him in. The air around them is gradually turning hot, almost as if they're dissipating the warmth for the other to have.

Jungkook clasps Taehyung's head in his hands, eyes closed, their mouths open against each other's... they're hesitating to close the distance almost as if in an aggressive way.

Jungkook chuckles, his mouth chasing Taehyung's. And when he felt their lips grazing against each other's, he darts his tongue out, draws at the seam of Taehyung’s lips, licking the bow of his upper lip in the process.

Unable to overcome the agonising desires, Taehyung encloses those plump lips instantly, swallowing that chuckle and the whine that comes afterwards. His lips diving inside the younger's mouth and sucking a long stripe of Jungkook's tongue, making Jungkook shudder with a moan.

Jungkook moves his hands to the back of Taehyung's head, carding his fingers through Taehyung's hair as their tongues get entangled in each other's. Taehyung's hands wander on his back and ultimately finds those locks, he runs his hand through Jungkook's hair, one hand still at the small of his back while their lips and tongues pursue each other in delight.

Taehyung's lips move to his jaw, skimming on the length and dangerously tries to move downwards but he backs away. He kisses under Jungkook's bottom lip, where a beauty mole is hiding. He presses their foreheads together, “I should go… before I make a bad first impression…” Taehyung said, voice trembling.

Jungkook leans away, and starts to shower kisses on Taehyung's face– on those bread cheeks, on the length of his nose and cheekbones, on his forehead, on his eyelids…

“You care about making an impression now?!” Jungkook chided, trying to calm his throbbing heart, while loud exhales escaped his mouth.

Taehyung gasps heavily in a dazed way. He chuckles lazily, “You can't change my mind. I should go, Guk. But I promise you, I won't be sleeping at all tonight!” He said, shaking his head.

Jungkook looks at him. Is there any possible way for him to sleep tonight? He thinks. No! He would rather read Taehyung's letters again and again till the sunrise than close his eyes. But on the other hand, Jungkook knows if he sleeps, there won't be any nightmares tonight. He would be having a calm, hushed, peaceful sleep even if it's just this night.

Jungkook nodded with a grin, “Me too…” Slowly he removes his legs from around Taehyung's hips.

Taehyung steps aside, and glances down at himself. He chuckles when he realises that he has to tuck his shirt properly.

Jungkook is dazed for a moment before hopping off the counter in shock, remembering something, “Yoongi… they're waiting for us for dinner!” He tucks at Taehyung's hand, “Come, let's go and eat something,” he said, tagging Taehyung along with him towards the living room.

Taehyung strides behind him, “But I won't be staying! It's not gonna end well, Guk!” He states as they walk towards the front door.

“I don't think it'll be that bad!” Jungkook said with a shrug, looking over his shoulder with a coy smile.

Taehyung stared at him in terror and amusem*nt, flashing his eyes, “You're crazy! you know that…!”

“Maybe.” Jungkook chuckles smugly.

Because he doesn't want Taehyung to leave his side. Not yet.

As they walk out to the hallway, he locks the door to the apartment and walks behind Taehyung.

The thing is, Jungkook is sure about something that Yoongi would definitely say to Taehyung tonight…

That they were destined to know each other.